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Do you ever feel uncomfortable talking to your s/o about things? adult content

Ok well, I have trouble talking about things with my s/o. We have been together the majority of the last 4yrs. I'm not a confrontational person, and to me bring up certain things is almost like confrontation. I hate to bring up stuff like sex, or how i feel, or even when i need something. I have no problem telling him, or talking to him about what the kids need, just when it comes to what i need I do. I hate telling him I need a new gown, even when mine is wore to the threads, I hate telling him that I'm not feeling good, cuz I know he works hard for us no matter how bad he is feeling. I hate bring up the topic of sex, even if I'm content with the quanity but not the quality. I'm 30 yrs old and I just hate discussing these things with him. Am I the only one?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Aug. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • It's best for you to comunicate will your s/o if you do it in a respectful way than it helps much more thanit hurts.

    Answer by Liz132 at 2:52 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I feel comfortable talking to my husband about anything and everything.

    Part of a healthy & happy relationship is being able to safely, honestly, and openly communicate with your partner about anything and everything in the world, in life, in regards to you, your relationship etc. Without it. Problems can build, resentments can fester, and the 2 people in the relationship take the chance of living daily without their needs being addressed much less met.

    If I were you. I would try and figure out why I was uncomfortable talking about these types of things, then I would address that reason. Then I would do my best to learn how to communicate my feelings and my needs. Otherwise, how would they ever be communicated, much less met by my partner.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:53 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • But why? Are you scared he would get mad? seems to be more too it than just what you say!

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 2:53 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I talk to him about everything
    From how awful my period is to I'm just feeling lonely and need more attention.
    He also is the same way.
    I never have to say I need anything new, because even though we are barely getting by now, student and business expenses are tough right now, he pays attention and goes behind my back to get me things, which I don't mind, I think it shows how much he cares about me.

    Maybe you two should start talking about things more openly. You dont have to be as open as me and my SO but I think being open is best and communication is necessary.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 2:57 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • i understand. i have a hard time too

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 2:58 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • yes very much so i never know what the responce will be or if they will look differently at me because of it.

    Answer by monica_sue_83 at 3:22 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I just went to grab a cup of coffee. And I was thinking about this ?. Thinking about the reasons friends/family have shared over the years as to why they are uncomfortable talking about such things (mainly sex) with their partner. I'll share some of there reasons and how they changed it. Just sharing to see if it helps any :-)

    1. Fear of how their partner will "view" them afterwards. Some were afraid that if they honestly shared their sexual needs, desires and wants with their partner that they would be looked at differently. Like a freak, a whore, dirty woman, etc. These fears usually stemmed from their views about sexuality and women, and what they had been taught in life about how men view female sexuality. What they learned was this. There is nothing wrong with their sexuality. They learned to know and accept their own sexuality. Once they became more comfortable with their own sexuality. They became more .. cont

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:28 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • See thats what I worry about is his responce. He had been looking at porn when I wasn't home, so when I got a chance I took pics of myself to give to him on his birthday. He invited his family over that night with no warning, plus i was sick so he didn't get them until just a few days ago. When he did he was like well why did you take pics of your self? I was like so that when u get a free moment u have something to look at, never acknowledgeing that i knew he was looking at porn while i was gone. He then got all pissy, like i was accusing him of something. I was like well why did i bother then. I also got him some sexy boxers for his birthday and he was like why? I just never know what his responce will be so I guess I'm kinda scared to talk to him about certain things.

    Answer by momof3xthefun at 3:30 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • comfortable sharing it with their partners.
    2. Apprehension because of how they felt about what it was they were wanting or needind. Some weren't comfortable with want they wanted or needed sexually. They felt things like : moms don't do that, that's nasty only whores do that, men don't want a wife to do that..etc.. They had to learn and accept that none of those things were true. That there was nothing wrong with their needs and desires. That they were totally normal. And most found out, that once they accepted these things about themselves and shared them with their partners. That hey, their partners were into or wanting to try those types of things to, they just weren't sure how to broach the subject either. So it turned out to be a win win all the way around.
    3. Some feared hurting their partners feelings. That they would take it as a direct hit to their manhood hearing that they were not pleasing their woman in

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:31 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I am uncomfortable telling him about some things, like sex/my feelings. But my needs, like eating or needing new clothes. No. You have to try to talk to him anyway though, cause communication is important.

    Answer by Tes...Jacksmami at 3:34 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

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