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Does this make sense to you?

My mom says that she never gets anything for my son,her only grandson,because he has us to buy him things he wants. For his birthday and x-mas she gives him a $10 bill to go get something. The problem is,she's constantly buying things for my cousins' kids because as she puts it,"their mom and dad are poor and can't afford things like you can"
So apparently because we can afford to buy stuff,Grandma is under no obligation to ever treat her only grandson once in awhile. He's 9 and its been this way his whole life. She breaks my heart. I've hidden it from him so far. Last x-mas was a joke because he sat there watching my cousin's kid open up gift after gift from her,and he sat there with his $10 bill.This year we're not going to her house.


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 5:36 PM on Aug. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I totally understand how you feel. While my mom does buy my sons things, she buys my sister's children more. Why? Because while my sister gets money (she was in a car accident years ago and get A LOT o settlement money) she pisses it away. My mom is always buying my nieces clothing, paying for piano lessons, braces, giving them spending money, taking them out to the movies, McDonalds and buying them what ever supplies they need for school. She has also stepped in stopped my sister's house from going into foreclosure and from her car being repossessed and from the kids freezing because my my sis never paid the oil bill and they wouldn't deliver any more.
    I confronted her on this and told her that I shouldn't be punished because I know how to manage money. I also pointed out that she is contributing to my sister's lack of money management when she steps in and bails her out when she blows her money. It still occurs.

    Answer by layh41407 at 5:52 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Be sure you tell her exactly why you aren't coming.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:39 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • wow poor kid that woulld really suck i wouldnt take him back either

    Answer by megan1089 at 5:41 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Good choice in not going to her house. Don't even try to figure it out.

    Answer by QandA at 5:41 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • My parents won't even see my daughter, and we live 20 minutes away. They don't buy her things, they don't do squat for her, or us. My MIL won't buy her anything or even come down on vacation to see her because "Jerry wants to go buy this" or "We went camping in Iowa" *Jerry is her boyfriend* or "I don't make any money at my job"...yet...she buys her nieces kids a sh*t load of stuff, goes shopping ALL the time, and doesn't even make her youngest (my SIL) pay for her college education, living expenses, car, car insurance or cell phone.

    My FIL - he's disabled and I love him to death - I have no problem with him not getting my DD anything because I know that he's hurting money wise.

    Everyone else in my family can kiss my royally white ass though :) I don't understand people like your mom and my family/extended family.

    Answer by Vashtiruescode3 at 5:42 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I think it is a good choice not to go to her house

    Answer by LiLJeni at 5:43 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • I don't find it wrong. It's her money to spend how she wishes. If she feels that she is helping the other family and that your family doesn't need the help, that's her right.
    What is wrong is to have such an obvious difference in gifting in front of the children. She should be giving the gifts to each family in private, so as not to cause any hurt feelings.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 5:44 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • That had to be completely heartbreaking for him and could him make him feel that hes not as loved. Even thought its not about the gifts, just the fact that he's feeling left out of the loop. Be strong. You really should sit down with her and let her know how he may feel. Isn't that what grandmothers are for? Even if its affordable for you?

    Answer by Cassie1028 at 5:45 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • That's not right. I feel sad for your son, it's not a matter of having money or not. It's the giving and showing of love and doing that to a child is wrong.
    My birthday is Dec 26 and for the longest time I had relatives give me 1 present and say that it was for both christmas and birthday. I hated it, I felt betrayed. And I'm sure that your son feels the same way when his cousins open all those presents from grandma.
    I would most defidently say something to her about it, there's no way I'd hold it in.

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 5:47 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • Do what you think is right.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:40 PM on Aug. 7, 2010