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need advice...trouble in marriage..he wants 2 do him BUT i need 2 do me....

im 21 y/o and ive just graduated with an associates i need one more year and half to get my bachelors in Bilingual Speech Therapist..me and hubby are stationed in hawaii and im not in school.. hes almost done with the army (he hated it) so now we will move back to texas since its where we are from... I need advice on this part: Hubby decided HE wants to move to San Antonio to get his BA from the University, army will give him $1 G . if he continues his education a month, and he can find a great job there (family connections).... NOW i wanna go back to EL PASO tx where my family is there, and my daughter will be 4 and ready to start pre-k ..i want to finish my education at the University there since im doing a bilingual major and is not offered in San Antonio and family can help out too while i can get a part time job... im afraid our marriage will fail if we do this but i feel like i gave up on alot 4 him..whats ur advice?

 
Leilene07

Asked by Leilene07 at 10:29 PM on Aug. 7, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 16 (2,728 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • My advice is if you made it through Army life your make it through college life knowing you'll both benefit from it in the end dont worry so much. And the two of you will gain a better life in the end as well. Try it if it doesnt seem to work let your family take care of your daughter and go to school together.
    apiegurl

    Answer by apiegurl at 8:55 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • If your marriage is to work, then you need to come up with a compromise. Can one of you take classes online? Your family should play no part in your decision. Your family is now your husband.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 10:46 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • how far apart are the 2 colleges?
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 10:41 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • 8-10 hrs away driving
    Leilene07

    Comment by Leilene07 (original poster) at 10:46 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • im cosidering my family as help for my daughter ..we cant really afford day care ...ive had put on hold 2yrs of school 2o be with him since my credits werent transferable..hes barely staring his degree ..we both wanna go to school to have abetter life later but its very hard.
    i know hes my family but we both have wasted our young adult life being in the military.
    Leilene07

    Comment by Leilene07 (original poster) at 10:50 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • this is hard for me but i think best way is talk about it .talk till no more talking left try not to yell it won't work give your reasons why and let he do the same.it will be hard on both of you.if you could find something in the middle that would work great but also there child you have to make sure she part of the plan good luck and let me know how it goes.
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 10:50 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • he wouldnt be able to go to the University that you want to go to? there isnt a community college or anything in between where you both will be able to go to school for what you want. if it were me i would be trying to go which ever would be the best financially, and that seems to be where your hubby can get paid for going to school and work, and if it were me, i would work around that, although i understand you want to finish up, you can find a decent job with the degree you have.
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 10:53 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • why cant he go to the same university as you? That school grant the army gives is good at any college
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:55 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • the way i see this is we are both 21 and im afraid later on in life we might separate i wanna be able to depend on my own especially since my DD is not his. the lesson i learned was when her dad left us and i had nothing
    we both love eachother very dearly its just that he really wants to go this University and i have already started in the other.. we discussed this earlier and we where both pretty sad =/
    Leilene07

    Comment by Leilene07 (original poster) at 10:58 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

  • It sounds like he could go to school anywhere. What if you promise to move to his hometown and live there forever if he will agree to live near the university you need for your degree until you (or both of you) are finished? So, your turn first, then his? But his will last longer.
    Hazelnutkin

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 10:59 PM on Aug. 7, 2010

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