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Settle and be content, or keep pursuing the dream?

My passion is foreign aid work/missions. DH and I were planning to do this when we got married, but now it's been four years. He has a steady job and we have a comfortable home and are close to family. Many things to be thankful for!!! But my heart yearns for that passion. I want to cry sometimes when I read or hear stories of other people doing what I long to return to. I go back and forth, wondering if I need to just accept where my life is and be thankful for it, or continue to seek ways to get there. DH is willing, but not actively pursuing it, and I don't want to push him.


Asked by Adelicious at 12:55 AM on Aug. 8, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 22 (13,157 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Witchqueen, that was just rude. Can you not see anything admirable in being willing to give of herself so completely? Not every missionary setting is any more dangerous than some American neighborhoods. Not every missionary is forcing a religion on anyone. They provide food, medical help, hands to build houses, and many more things. Do you ever have anything nice to say to anyone? Just wondering.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 1:38 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Does it have to be either/or? Can you look into ways to help others that are closer to where you are now, if only while your child or children are young? Like my grandma used to say, charity begins at home... as someone who has worked in social services I can tell you that there are probably lots of worthy causes, like soup kitchens, food banks, homeless shelters, and homes for abused women and children who need help and volunteers, right in your own backyard.

    Answer by Freela at 7:03 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Just because you can't fulfill your calling at this point in your life doesn't mean you have to give up the dream - perhaps the right situation will present itself in the years to come.

    Answer by tasches at 8:24 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • It depends. Do you think it's a life you want to bring your children into? Not that teaching them how to care for others is bad, but do you think that bringing your children along with you is safe? I personally would find a way to help from the homefront, but I understand wanting to follow your passions. Do what's right for you, but keep in mind the needs of your family. You will make the right decision.

    Answer by catwalksymphony at 12:58 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Ironically, even though I have so much to be thankful for with the way my life is now, THIS is not the way I want to raise my children. I would much rather raise my children in an environment where they see the needs of others and the reality of the world they live in, and with parents who are active in relieving suffering. Not on a corner lot in small town in the middle of dead rice fields mingling with people who live passionless, visionless lives.

    Comment by Adelicious (original poster) at 1:02 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • I would love to be able to do wat I really wanna do in life. I dont have any outside support for it tho, even my DH thinks its all a big joke. Our friend Cody just signed some other female to b on his record label. Im still upset more at the fact that wen DH calld to tell me about it he kept sayin how great she was or watever. I dont have anyone that takes wat I wanna do seriously. Iv pretty much done more than jus settled. Iv completly given up on havin ambition to come up with new ideas for me to have goals to try to reach. Dont settle___ IT SUCKS! I hate myself for it everyday.

    Answer by Mz_Momm25 at 1:17 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Thanks Iamgr9teful! There's so much ignorance and stereotyping surrounding missions.

    Comment by Adelicious (original poster) at 3:00 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • does your church do mini-missions, like 2-3 week long missions that you could be apart of? that way you could fulfill your spiritual need/want w/out giving up the life you live now...or would that just make you long for total mission work even more?

    Answer by okmanders at 3:21 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Yeah, I've done lots of short-term stuff. It's a little harder to do that now that I have a child. And the needs I see really require full-time involvement. But hopefully I CAN do some more short-term stuff if nothing else.

    Comment by Adelicious (original poster) at 3:25 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • OP, sorry. I realized that I never did answer your question. I think that it wouldn't hurt to come out and ask DH how he feels about it. You never know. He may have been thinking the same thing, but not thinking that you'd still want to do it now that you have kids. If he is totally against it or not thrilled with the idea, maybe you could do a short-term mission. If your church is not doing one, you can probably find another ministry that would welcome your help for even a short time.

    Fr. Pablo Straub visited our church last year for our parish mission. He was trying to convince my husband to load up the family and move to Mexico to help with his ministry. A part of me would love to do that, but then we have two little kids, one of whom is starting Kindergarten this year. Also, call me selfish, but I don't want to lose the time with my parents while I still have them.

    I admire your heart and hope you find a way.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 6:58 PM on Aug. 8, 2010