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What's it like....the huge age gap between kids?

Sorry, but I'm expanding off of someones question. They were asking if anyone else had a huge age gap between children. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. What is it like (everyday life) with the kids being so far apart in age? Any jealousy?Resentment? Is it perfect? Would you have done differently if you knew then what you know now? I'm trying to figure out the right thing to do as far as possibly expanding my own family. I know only I can decide, but insight from others that have been there would be so helpful. Thanks in advance.


Asked by Gandeluv at 1:02 AM on Aug. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 9 (296 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • My kids are 7 years apart. They usually get along great and are very close, though have the normal sibling fights occassionally. My youngest absolutely adores her older brother and he is quite protective of her.

    For me, it was an absolute breeze having them farther apart (that was not our original plan but that's how it turned out) ... my oldest was a tremendous help to me when my youngest was little. I was able to spend quality time with both (with my youngest while my oldest was in school; with my oldest when my youngest was sleeping). I never had to deal with 2 in diapers or double strollers, or anything like that.

    I don't think it's necessarily the age difference that determines how the kids get along; I think it's their personalities and how you raise them ... so you really can't predict too much. My sis and I are 6 years apart (with a brother in between) and we have ALWAYS been extremely close.

    Answer by FootballMom85 at 9:22 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • I have a 7 year old and 4 month old. My son helps out with his sister and has not really be jealous. So far I think it is the perfect age gap, however it is still new to him.

    Answer by queen.bee at 1:05 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • How old are your children now? How big of an age gap are you talking about? Ours are 5yrs apart DH wishes they were closer in age maybe they wouldnt fight so much and we had to start the baby stage all over when we were already completely out of the baby stage but I dont think I could have handled 2 toddlers at the same time my son was a handful and DH was never home we were young and he didnt grow up till after #2.

    Answer by mscamp0235 at 1:07 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • My two are 2 yrs and 3 months apart. My son will be 4 in September and my daughter will be 2 in December. It has been very stressful and challenging at times having two very little ones but things are starting to get easier and I am glad they are spaced the way they are. They have some sibling rivalry but my son is a really great older brother. I have three sisters; one is 2.5 years younger than me, one is 4 years younger than me, and the other is 12 years younger than me. I really do not feel close at all to my youngest sister. I was a senior in high school when she was in kindergarten and my parents treated her differently than me and my other sisters and we really are in different generations. I don't see myself being close with her anytime in the next ten years.

    Answer by tangyh at 1:11 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • my DD is 3 and im 21 im not planning to have another one till im 30..
    hopefully my daughter will be understanding and will help me
    she will be given all my attention so i doubt she might be jealous when i have another

    Answer by Leilene07 at 1:05 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • coming from a big gap between me and my sis I really wished I could have experienced having a closer sibling to hang out with. I had more of a parental role, which made me grow up too fast, I always had to worry about her, what was I doing that affected her, where she is, what she's doing, it got to get on my nerves and I resented my mom for putting me in that position as a young teen, always having to help her when I should have been a kid too.

    We're 7 years apart, my sis and I.

    On the other hand now that we're both getting older, her 12, me almost 19, we are becoming better friends, she still tattles on my mom to me, but we're working on it all.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 1:15 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • there is 7 years difference between me and my brother and my mom alwyas said it was like having two different families. dealing with issues i had and then going back and taking care of a toddler was prolly one of the biggest things. he was 4 and watching barney and i was 11 and i had already started my period and was dealing with tween issues... there is so much more. i would not do it to if i had the option myself... i wish i could relate to my brother but its crazy how we are worlds apart. i cant be there for him i cant help him.... i am like a stranger because i am so much older

    Answer by MoMoFu at 1:48 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • My DH and his sister are 6 years apart. She was really good with helping out with him when he was little but ultimately they aren't that close. Every family is different though

    Answer by JessWulf84 at 1:56 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • The older will be able to help you with the younger one and they will still fight and disagree its up to you to help them balance...i dont think it bad...havin 2 lil ones is a lot...

    Answer by mekarevell at 2:32 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • I am 9 yrs older than my sister and hated it. It's like we grew up in 2 different generations. She's starting college this fall and I'm married with 4 kids. I don't recommend such a gap between kids.

    My 4 kids are gapped all kids of ways. I was a teen mom with my 1st so me trying to get my life back on track kept me from having another soon after. Therefore, my oldest 2 are 6yrs apart. I don't recommend that either because they fight all the time (it may also be because they are different genders) and they are too far apart to be in the same elementary school at once.

    My 2nd and 3rd: 3 yrs apart and I think thats best because you won't have 2 in diapers at once and they get along well. And they are close enough where they are actually growing up together.

    My 3rd and 4th: only 1 year apart and that's another I don't recommend until you don't have much time to have kids [getting older or have a medical condition]

    Answer by keisha613 at 5:55 AM on Aug. 8, 2010