Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 year old always fussy

My DS is just shy of 1 year old, and I just weaned him from breastfeeding. (PLEASE do not bash because I weaning DS before 2 years I have my reasons.) a few months back we were living in a place he wasn't allowed to cry, at all and so I held him 24/7. Now he expects it and throws a fit any time I put him down. (Unless he's eating.) Even to go to the bathroom. Weaning seems to have only made it worse, but I'm at my wit's end. There are some times I need to do things. But I can't just ignore him. I go thru all the basics but there's nothing he wants except to be held. Any advice?

 
ExenoRainbow

Asked by ExenoRainbow at 10:14 AM on Aug. 8, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 5 (72 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Please be reassured that you did not cause this behavior by constantly holding him and not allowing him to be left to cry in the past. You did NOT spoil him. His behavior is totally normal for his age. The more you continue to hold him and meet his needs, the sooner he will feel secure enough to start to move away. Hang in there, they usually start to get more independent after they turn a year. If you try and get him to be independent sooner he will only cling tighter.
    Don't plan on going to the bathroom alone any time soon! Find ways to get done what you need to with him with you. Set aside those few things that you can't for when he is napping.
    He probably needs extra holding etc. due to the recent weaning. He could also be teething.
    maggiemom2000

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 12:21 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Your baby isn't even a year. You had to switch to bottles and formula, a huge deal. If you could have waited until a year then you could have just weaned and your baby would have needed no formula or milk.


    Your baby is only 11 mo. Get a sling or wrap and then you can do the things you want to do with your baby held close to you. Your baby may want to be held a lot until he is 18 mo or older. I take care of my 22 mo grandson ever other day and he still needs held a lot.


    I'm not sure what you mean by "throws a fit." If you mean want's to be held, that's normal. It's hard wired into a baby's brain. Now is a good time to read some toddler parenting books so you are ready. Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary is good.


     

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 10:39 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Can you have him become your helper for things like sweeping the floor, dusting, do laundry, whatever? Explain to him you have to do X and then show him how he can help. Make a big deal about him being a helper.

    And, when he can not help in any way, I would explain that I have to do X. I would set up some favorite toys near me and do what I had to do. If he has a tantrum I would ignore it the best I could and finish the task. My son was a temper tantrum baby, for other reasons, and I had to "work" through them occasioanlly. Best wishes.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 10:30 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • For all of human history and in most cultures today babies have been held 24/7. That's the way it is supposed to be. When babies start crawling and walking they spend more time out of mother's arms. When they have their dependency needs met they can become independent. You didn't do something wrong by holding him as a baby.


    When mothers wean for "their reasons" before the child is ready there can be consequences. That's disadvantage of mother led weaning. The behavioral consequences can be much worse that whatever the mother's reason was for weaning. Many times the mother's reason is not well researched. She may think she has to wean to take a medication but that medication can be taken while bf.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 10:32 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Wear your baby in a sling, wrap, or ei tai or other cloth carrier. That way you can provide what your baby needs and be free to do whatever. My baby falls asleep when I do chores all the time. Touch and being carried is as importsnt to babies as their need for food. This is nature's design. Weaning at 1 year is one of the most difficult because it coincides with a major growth spurt/teething/ and major milestones so the need to be held is much more necessary. Remember its a NEED not a want. Hold him, yu will miss it when its gone and it will be gone before you know it.
    amileegirl

    Answer by amileegirl at 10:47 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • more.............I should have added that when I "worked" through some of my son's tantrums I talked to him in a clam voice telling him I would be done soon, he was OK, etc.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 10:43 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Starting somewhere between 9 months and 18 months all babies start having separation anxiety. Then can crawl or walk away from you, but you can not move away from them. This is totally normal behavior. I totally understand the 'I have to do this, you have to deal' situation. My daughter is now 18 months old and still throws a fit if I walk into another room. Forget me leaving the house. One day I finally put her in her room to scream. I had to do things.

    Like the others suggested get something so you can wear your baby, be that a sling, carrier, or a wrap so that you can do things. I know that doesn't work with all situations. I have put all three of my kids in a backpack so I can get things done. I have done the dishes and cooked that way. Try to do as much as you can while the baby is sleeping. I know not always as easy as it sounds.
    kerijeanbean

    Answer by kerijeanbean at 12:51 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I am sorry you had to wean early. I don't think it had that much impact on the situation, but probably did make it a bit harder. Good luck. He will outgrow this phase soon.
    kerijeanbean

    Answer by kerijeanbean at 12:52 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • CIO
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:17 AM on Aug. 8, 2010

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN