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How do you get your teenagers to listen to you?

While my son is no longer a tennager but he is 21 and has started drinking everyday since his birthday. How do you get across to him that it is not healthy to drink everyday?

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MEWRITER97

Asked by MEWRITER97 at 4:56 PM on Aug. 8, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • does he still live in your house?? if so it is your house and he needs to follow the house rules....you may have some trouble since he is of age and a legal adult. Is he drinking a lot or just 1-2?? if it is a lot I would suggest talking to him...only when he is sober
    Does he pay rent?? If not have him start paying rent to you. If he doesn't like it he can move out
    justgrape723

    Answer by justgrape723 at 5:01 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • ditto what justgrape said
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 5:02 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Honestly.. You really can't get him to understand or accept that. You can share your concerns, and why you are concerned. But ultimately, he and only he can make the choice to see and undertand the negatives of his behaviour and make the choice to change those behaviours.

    It's frustrating as hell watching our grown children do things that we know could very well bite them in the behind later on down the road, or cause some form of problems or heartaches for them. But that is part of them living their lives, they have to live with those things, live through those things, learn from those things, and make the choices in their lives to make it through. We as parents at this stage, can be supportive, offer advice, offer help, and if need be, be there for them when they stumble and fall. But that's about it.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:04 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Tell them the positive things. That you love them but not in a you need to go to rehab kinda way. Talk about all the things they're good at. Focus on the positive. They listen most to those that invest in them and care. So when things get rough, you're the most likely they'll listen too. Maybe talking to this one about the positive, will remind them of their capabilities. Or they may just have to go through this stage. But hey, if they have to pay for rent , utilities, etc. there's less money for drinks;)
    thelowlander

    Answer by thelowlander at 5:09 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • It is hard to make a teenager listen. I never did get mine to. She always thought that if a parent told her something, it was a lie. So I am sorry I can't help you. Hope you can figure it out.
    dholbert

    Answer by dholbert at 5:14 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • He's grown, he's not going to listen to you, especially for his 21st year, it's party/drinking time for him. It's a phase, he'll grow out of it, now if he starts to neglect responsibilities then there may be a problem.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 5:20 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • If he wasn't taught this when he was a child & had it reinforced as he grew up, it might be a bit hard to get him to listen now that he's an adult. Also, what kind of example did he grow up with? If he is copying someone he grew up watching, it may be harder to get him to understand the negative issues of drinking. Unfortunately, because of his age, you can only say & do so much, but if he still lives at home, you need to set some rules that you feel are appropriate, discuss them with him, & then be consistent in enforcing them. If he isn't interested in following your house rules, then he is free to find other housing.
    ghostwriter777

    Answer by ghostwriter777 at 5:21 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Since he is 21 years old he's legal and it's more difficult. However, him drinking every day could be coming into a problem. Does he have a girlfriend that he would listen to?
    CafeMochaMom1

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 6:02 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • email him this: http://www.alcohol-abuse-info.com/
    older

    Answer by older at 3:10 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Do you think he doesn't know that? I'll bet he does. It's just part of that "10 foot tall and bullet proof" mentality that young men seem to have. He knows he shouldn't be doing it, he just doesn't really believe that the consequences will impact him.

    missingruth

    Answer by missingruth at 4:53 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

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