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How do you handle...?

Okay, so if you have family members with kids, who frequently play together, how do you handle things when their parenting interferes with yours? Example: I'm trying to teach my daughter the value of picking up after herself... and finally succeed, only to have my nephew come over and trash the house with toys. I tried to explain the rules to him, but unless his father steps up, he's not going to listen. And his attitude is also an issue. He constantly tries to tell my daughter what to do, or is sometimes flat out rude. I try to correct him, but again, I'm not his parent and it's not my job to discipline him. All I can do is say, "no, we dont' talk like that here" or things like that.

I just irks me because I feel like it undermines half the morals I try to teach my daughter when she see's her cousin getting away with crap like that. (they are 2 1/2). So how do you handle that?


Asked by xxhazeldovexx at 6:24 PM on Aug. 8, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 34 (67,320 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Talk this over with your brother. Lots of people let their kids get away with bad behavior because they doen't see them everyday and they feel guilty having limits. You realize it is absolutely the wrong thing to do. It will only get worse if the rules are not followed. You and brother need to set the rules and abide by them. One of the most loving things parents can do for their kids is to set limits. I wish you good luck.

    Answer by elizabr at 8:12 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • At 2 1/2 you are in charge when he is in your house. I can't derive from your post if the parent is present or if you are just babysitting. If the other parent is present, simply tell them when they get there your house, your rules.

    If the other parent is not there, well, then, make him follow your rules.

    Answer by lovinangels at 6:26 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • You need to talk to his father, (is that your brother?) and just say, hey, I'm trying to teach my child to pick up after herself and show good manners and I think it'd be helpful if she had a peer who was learning the same things so that they could do it together... do you think you could help me out with this and give me some advice on how to go about doing this with her and your son together?... that way it isn't accusatory and you can work on it together... also, I'd let your daughter know that even if she's only 2.5 years old, just because somebody else does something, doesn't mean it's right... She'll need to know that when she becomes a pre-teen or teenager.

    Answer by momofonelilguy at 6:31 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Well at 2 and 1/2 there can be big differences in their development, sometimes girls can be a bit more mature,, I wouldn't allow them to trash the house, do you have them doing one acitivity at a time? You could talk to your brother, but honestly your nephew is pretty little to follow rules on a consistent basis, sound like your resentful of something more,, IDK, but if it is a huge deal, just don't have him play at your house any longer. Good luck!

    Answer by kimigogo at 6:34 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • lovinangels..

    it's both our house.. my brother and mines... he has his kid wednesday and sundays.

    Comment by xxhazeldovexx (original poster) at 6:39 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • they are both 2 1/2, and while they are young, they still should be learning respect for their toys, rules, and their elders (and each other). My daughter always was taught this, and for the most part does extremely well. I don't expect them to be 100% clean freaks, or always to listen, but there has to be a point where you say, "okay, listen.. it's time to settle down and pick up" after they are finished playing with something or if they get too rowdy.
    Or example: when one starts to try to bully the other one, you have to step in and say"hey enough!" Whenever my daughter would say something to her cousin I ALWAYS step in and tell her we don't talk like that. and Now she doesn't. But my nephew just gets worse because I'm not his parent so he doesn't listen to me.

    Comment by xxhazeldovexx (original poster) at 6:44 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • I guess it's more the lack of parenting or discipline on my brothers part that irks me.

    I understand he only see's his kid 2 days a week, so he wants to spoil him.. but there still needs to be a line there where you teach your children right from wrong

    Comment by xxhazeldovexx (original poster) at 6:45 PM on Aug. 8, 2010