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How can I get my tween daughter to be nice to her dad (my husband)?

My daughter has been getting mouthier and mouthier to her father. She is rude to him, shows him little respect, and tells people that she doesn't like him. The other part of the problem is that my husband just gets angry and quits trying. He loves her very much, but is having a hard time dealing with the rejection she is offering up to him. I am just wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to deal with the two of them. She has not been rude or mouthy to me (yet). I tell her that it hurts her dads feelings when she is mean, maybe it would be helpful for him to tell her that? Time alone together?? Not sure, but any ideas would be great, thanks!

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Momof4MT

Asked by Momof4MT at 1:28 AM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Yes, I agree he should tell her how this behavior makes him feel. Have you tried asking what the problem is, why she does not like him?
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 1:31 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • She says she doesn't like him because he embarrasses her. That is the only response she ever has. Perhaps she is too old for him to show affection? (hug and kisses??)
    Momof4MT

    Comment by Momof4MT (original poster) at 1:34 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • maybe tried spending some one on one time with her...ask your hubby to try bonding with her...like doing something she likes to do jus the two of them...good luck
    TezMoM

    Answer by TezMoM at 1:44 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • My question to you would be, does he discipline her or is that your job? When he does, is consistent and follows through, or does over do it or let things slide. It sounds to me like she knows she can get away with treating him differently.

    On the other tack, have you found out exactly what he does that embarrasses her?
    Liansmommie

    Answer by Liansmommie at 3:07 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Dad is not doing his part, you need to respect in order to be respected, he should never quit on her, parents can't do that, or the battle is lost. He needs to put on his authority mask and stick to it.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:04 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Children need to learn how to respect and they require respect in return, if your husband has been doing things to embarass her I'm not surprised she is angry and annoyed. Your husband should talk to her and find out exactly what is embarassing her or causing her to act the way she does. He needs to really listen, apologize where warranted and work on making some changes to make her feel like he is really listening and trying to show her the same respect he would like to have. While you can talk to your daughter - its your husband that has to do the work and should be talking to your daughter to work it out. Kids want is to be heard and respected as well. It is hard when children no longer want the affection, but there are ways to work around that, like don't do it in public, or find other ways to show it in public. My children will punch my arm softly, or I rub their hair or just give them a knowing look. Good Luck.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 5:48 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

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