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Do you think I am an evil mother? Note to teacher...

My son is in 6th grade and is testing his new teacher to see what he can get away with. This is the email I sent to the teacher...

"This is a note to let you know that Jack did not complete his poster for the Wrinkle In Time project. He is fully aware that the project is due Monday and he still did not complete it. He has been reminded many times this past week to do it and has been set to the task several times as well.
Jack has been reminded of the importance of completing the work, yet he still chose to mess around and not finish it.

I would like to make this a teachable moment. I have spoken to him about how disappointed I am that he did not complete the assignment, but I would ask that you take him aside today for a brief moment and do the same. This will determine how he responds to your assignments in the future. If you let it slide he will assume that you will continue to do so....CONT...


Asked by Anonymous at 2:43 AM on Aug. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Nope..Not evil..just a loving, concerned, consistent, involved parent who wants the best for her son and is teaching him the meaning of responsibility and accountability. Good job momma!

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 3:19 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I think it's a fine note to send. But remember you are the parent and need to punish him if he's not doing his school work. Simply reminding him won't work. Take things away or if he doesn't want to work on his school work, make him clean something until he decides he wants to do the assignment.

    Teachers can only assign the work, they have no way of making him do it. That's up to you.

    As a kid, as soon as I got home from school, I had to sit at the table and do my homework. I couldn't get up until it was done. If it wasn't done by dinner time, I moved my work, ate, then got back to work.

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 2:48 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I think i'ts good that you let his teacher know you are involved with your child's education.

    Answer by Liansmommie at 2:51 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I think you're telling the teacher how to do her job. It's not her place to punish him in any other way than getting a zero if he doesn't do the work. She knows he's testing her and I'm sure she's going to handle it the right way but you have to punish him. It sounds like you are trying to get out of parenting him.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 3:18 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • the cleaning thing is great for you too ;) gets some of the housework done for you LOL

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 2:53 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I think that was an admirable email that I'm sure most teachers wish they'd see more of. So many children today get excuses made for them time and time again and never learn to be responsible or accountable for anything. I think that by you playing an active role in showing your child that there are consequences to actions, you are doing your darndest to make sure that the person you send out into the world someday, will be a productive and supportive member of a community and not some whiny slacker that always expects people to do for him and cover his butt. WAY TO GO MOM!

    Answer by MzzRizzo at 2:53 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I am glad you are in contact with the teacher. But 6th grade is Middle school, and from what I remember of middle school and what I have been told for my ingoing middle school that if you know a child didnt finish a project then it is on them and not you to contact the teacher, and he should get the grade he gets like zero and not a %50 for turning it in late unless that is policy of the teacher. Kids need to learn consequences for not doing work.

    Answer by momto3infl at 6:48 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • As a teacher, I think you are doing a great service to your child by holding him responsible and allowing him to fail (too many parents protect their children from failing, which is a huge mistake). I agree that maybe reminding him would not be enough- in 6th grade, especially being a boy who mature slower, he might need your help to break a project down into smaller steps. That being said, I do agree that he needs to face the consequences of getting a bad grade. I would have said this is evil if your letter to the teacher included that he should be excused from the project- YES THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS! Parents telling the teacher that the homework isn't done, and to excuse them from it, because of this that and the other thing!!!!!!

    Answer by musichollie at 3:42 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • CONT..."If you make him accountable for not turning it in, he will know that you mean business and will respond accordingly with the next assignment.
    As I told you when we spoke over the phone, Jack will push the limits if you let him, so I am asking you to tell him not to disappoint you again.
    He is a great kid and I expect him to apply himself more readily to the task once he knows you expect great things from him.

    Thanks, if you have any questions, please, please, please call or email. We want to work with you to mold our sweet Jack into a future leader.

    My NAME

    PS... please just give him the zero in the grade book, or the 50% if he turns it in on Tuesday. If you let it slide, he won't learn the lesson. Thanks."


    I want him to succeed and the only way I can figure out how to help him, is to hold him accountable. Does it make me mean?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:44 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • That cleaning trick has helped us with other things before. Thanks for the suggestion!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:52 AM on Aug. 9, 2010