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First adopted child survey

Anyone seen the first baby survey? I took it and I couldn't find anything similar on the net for adoptive mothers, so I adapted it really fast. Please feel free to edit or delete any questions if they aren't appropriate! Obviously, just like the first baby one could easily be changed to second baby, you can do this one for subsequent children as well. Anyway, feel free to fill this out here for fun or make journals. I thought I was adapting it for someone who commented my page because she said her child wasn't biological... but it turns out she isn't an adoptive mother like I assumed. I hope this is fun for someone!

 
Bellarose0212

Asked by Bellarose0212 at 3:10 AM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Adoption

Level 19 (7,940 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Actually, many adoptive moms experience high rates of depression after they bring home a child and do need to have a professional help them. Sometimes there is the deep grief and understanding in order for me to be happy this other woman is very sad right now. Hard to cope with mixed emotions when all people want to see is that now you can be happy. I thought it was a good question.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:11 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Married, considered international first and then chose private non profit domestic, i was 30 when I became a parent. We spoke to his birthmom prior to birth and she gave us info (incorrect info...), we requested a girl but he was a boy. Told it would take about three to nine months for a child but took seven. No anxiety about being a parent but anxious about adoption expenses. Had a nursery prepared and clothes, toys, ect. All clothes were wrong - not a girl. Did find my first gray hair after his birth. Very weird. Some complications - some ups and downs. But typical things. Some a little complicated. We met our child at birth. Adoption finalized at nine months. We celebrate family as our day. Families in general and ours. We buy a family gift for us and donate a gift to a shelter. I am not taking any medications. And my child is three.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 2:40 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • - Were you married or not when you decided adoption would be in your future?

    - What different adoption routes did you consider?

    - How old were you when you started the adoption process?

    - How did you first find out the details/stats of your child?

    - Did you have prefences of gender and age?

    - How long was your adoption process predicted to take?

    - How long did it actually take?

    - Did you have a lot of anxiety prior to having the child in your home?

    - What did you do to prepare?

    - Did you get gray hairs?

    - Who irritated you the most during the adoption process?

    - What was your child's sex?

    - What was your child's age?

    - Did you have any complications or delays in your adoption journey?

    - Where did you first meet your child?
    Bellarose0212

    Comment by Bellarose0212 (original poster) at 3:10 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • - How long between the time you first met/held your child and the finalization of the adoption?

    - Who was with you at the court date for finalization?

    - Did you have a celebration of adoption?

    - Did you have an international, domestic private, or domestic state adoption?

    - Did you take medication to ease the stress (lol)?

    - Do you celebrate an "adoption day" in addition to your child's birthday?

    - How much did your child weigh?

    - What was his or her name?

    - How old is your first child today?
    Bellarose0212

    Comment by Bellarose0212 (original poster) at 3:11 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • - married, 10 years
    - domestic, infant adoption
    -31
    - over the phone
    -no preferences for sex. age- under 3
    -approx was 2 years
    - took 2 weeks
    - no anxiety
    - I did nothing to prepare. We didn't know he was coming. They called from the hospital after he was born.
    -no gray hairs
    - the home study social worker annoyed me the most
    -my first child is a son, one day old when I met him
    -no complications
    - I met him first at the hospital
    - the adoption finalized at 6 months
    -my husband's entire family were there
    -no, not anything formal. we just celebrate in our hearts
    -private domestic infant adoption
    -no medication
    -no, we don't
    -he weighed 6 pounds 6 oz
    -Maxwell
    - 3 and 1/2
    hollyanne31

    Answer by hollyanne31 at 1:59 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Just fyi, the medication question was a joke because there is a question on the first baby survey about medications to ease the pain of labor. So, I just adapted it to be lighthearted. I don't think adoptive moms are all on meds or anything!
    Bellarose0212

    Comment by Bellarose0212 (original poster) at 3:00 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Married
    We considered all types of adoption. Foster-to-adopt, private domestic, international.
    I was 35 years old when we started
    We were presented a file from our agency
    We requested a girl, under a year old if possible
    It was supposed to take 10-12 months
    It actually took 4 years
    I was very anxious about being a good mom, bonding and attachment, etc.
    I read books, took Parent Education Seminars, joined internet groups, talked with other a-parents.
    No gray hairs til over a year after she was home.
    Everyone who wasn't making the adoption happen faster got on my nerves.
    We were matched with a girl.
    She was 13 1/2 months when we met.
    No complications, just delay after delay after delay.
    We met her in a hotel banquet room in Nanchang, China.
    Adoption was final 1 day after we met.
    Agency staff members, government employees and other new a-parents were there when the adoption was finalized.
    DEpley

    Answer by DEpley at 12:49 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • We didn't celebrate that day. She was too upset and all of our attention and focus was on calming and comforting her.
    We adopted from China.
    Does rum and coke count as medication?
    We do celebrate our family day in addition to her birthday. However, we will stop when she gets older if it makes her uncomfortable.
    She weighed about 18 lbs at adoption. She gained 9 lbs her first year home!
    Her name was Ling ChaTao. Now its Annabelle Grace ChaTao
    She is 2 1/2 next week.
    DEpley

    Answer by DEpley at 12:53 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Frogdawg- I'm glad it works, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't offensive.
    Bellarose0212

    Comment by Bellarose0212 (original poster) at 6:28 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Yes, married 8 years
    Only considered domestic infant through an agency
    32
    Received an e-mail asking if we wanted our profile sent to a 6-1/2 month pregnant 16 year old. It gave some family history.
    No
    The agency usually placed within a year
    Four months from the time we were eligible until we were matched
    Nope
    Turned the big spare bedroom into a nursery...that's about it
    Nope
    Hubby's parents
    Girl
    Brought her home at 3 months, 3 days
    Yes. After birth BMom chose to parent...it was 3 months later when she changed her mind back toward the adoption route
    In the hospital
    9 months (6 months after she was placed)
    Us, hubby's parents, and my mom
    Oh good Lord, YES!! :-)
    Domestic infant
    No, but looking back now, wish I would have saw my doctor about some of the things I was going through
    Most certainly (November 20th every year...we call it Day Day)
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 4:52 PM on Aug. 13, 2010

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