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I've had a "sticky" relationship (at best) with my mother my entire life. I scheduled my DD's baptism for Labor Day weekend (our church only does them on the 1st Sunday of the month), and this was the soonest I could have it done (she'll already be 10 months old). This morning I find out (through FB no less) that my parents are taking a "long weekend to look for properties" WAY out of state on that very weekend. Now mind you, they NEVER go anywhere, EVER, so why would I think they'd not be available? And to top it off, I'm being "chastized" for not consulting her about choosing the date. No one on my husband's side seems to have a problem with it. Would you change the date? Sorry to be anon.


Asked by Anonymous at 6:55 AM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I wouldn't change it. At some point, you have to live life for yourself and your family. I went through this for years with my mom. I even went through it with my wedding. No matter what date we picked, she had a reason that it didn't work for sister had cheerleading camp, my brother had a braces adjustment appointment, they were thinking of taking a vacation sometime around anytime we picked, it was her birthday (yeah, she told me she wasn't giving up her birthday for anybody...ugh!). None of them were truly legitimate. We finally gave up. We set the date. Told her when it was (ended up on Memorial Day weekend). She went camping at the creek instead of coming to my wedding. Yep - live life for you and your family. People like that will only cause you undue stress & heartache.

    Answer by specialwingz at 8:17 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • NO, I would not change the date. They can change their plans, it only involves the two of them. Your plans involve a lot of people. It would be nice of your parents to change their plans to another weekend!

    Answer by michelle5971 at 7:25 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • No, my mom was not in my life and I invited her to my wedding and she asked if I could change the date. My wedding was feb. 14th for one and the venue was hard to get in the 1st place, so I didn't change the date and she didn't come. ( HER LOSS! ) If your mom has not been a part of your life, then why change the date? ( HER LOSS! )

    Answer by 1lilgirl at 7:33 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I guess it is up to how much you want them to be there?

    Answer by Stefono at 8:03 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • No, don't change the date. I'd think that their plans are something that might be changeable unless they have a non-refundable plane ticket. You'll never please everybody. On the other hand, one more month wouldn't make that much of a difference, and it would have been a good idea to check with them first. Maybe run a quick check with his side to see if the following month would be OK and with your mother.

    Answer by Bmat at 7:00 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • No I wouldn't change the date. Did they know this before hand that you had this planned? Their plans are something that can easily be changed to another time do they have money invested in this time they have plenty of time to cancel.

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 7:19 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • No don't change the date. They can go look at properties at any other time, if she decides to miss her grandaughters baptism then that's her choice. Don't change it because of her.

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 7:52 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • If they made the plans after knowing the date for the event, then I wouldn't change the date, if they had plans long before you set the date, then I would.

    Answer by older at 8:29 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I agree with Stefono.......that it depends how much you want her there.

    If you are OK with her not being there then talk it over with her. Tell her it was the soonest you could plan it, you didn't have much choice about the date, and that you don't want the baby to be any older. You might also add how long you will have to wait if you postpone it now, if you really know. And you thought they would be available. Ask if she can postpone her trip.

    If you are OK with her being away than tell her you really couldn't consult with anyone about the date. The church basically tells you the date. GL


    Answer by elizabr at 8:36 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I would not change the date. Honestly, that is far enough out, that if they want to attend their granddaughter's baptism they could make it work.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 8:49 AM on Aug. 9, 2010