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i have a 4 year old child. if an ex has never had an overnight and has only seen my child for 6 hours in the past year, how do i prevent my ex from getting overnights now?

my divorce agreement says he can have overnights, but has not seen my child once a month as was agreed to.

Answer Question

Asked by greatmom22 at 10:15 AM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • wouldn't it be in your child's best interest to have as much contact as possible with both parents?

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 10:18 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I don't know that you can. You have to prove that it would not be safe for the child. Maybe you could delay the overnights for awhile on the grounds that the child isn't used to seeing the parent and would be uncomfortable doing an overnight. You would have to suggest more daytime visits for awhile.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 10:19 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • i would bring that up to the courts about him not seeing your child regularly. but if they do not see an issue with it, then the agreement stands. he can have the child for overnights. I would suggest you don't argue or take matters into your own hands. It will just make things harder on you. The courts can be unfair at times, but don't mess with them. Let your lawyer know everything and let a judge be the one to decide.

    Answer by xtwilightx at 10:20 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • You don't. And it's unlikely that you can or should.

    Answer by justnancyb at 10:23 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • You have to take him back to court and prove that he has not taken advantage of the current visitation agreement and that you feel it would harm your son to have him kept overnights with a man who is essentially a "stranger". Once, regular visits start, you will not be able to fight this, but I would fight tooth and nail NOW to prevent this.

    has he been paying his support as agree and required by law? If not, petition the courts for every penny he owes you.

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 10:23 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • You need to document everything for awhile then take it to your family court. write down every single visit he misses and if he does make a visit record the amount of time. record how your child acts before and after each visit. just take that to your lawyer and the judge will figure it out.

    Answer by saralouise at 10:24 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Make a plee to the courts that since he has missed so mny that your child be weanvd into overnight visits with shorter vists right now until he gvts use to his father. Don't be supprised though if he is given more visits than once a month though.

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 10:33 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • thank you for your comment. my ex is now with another woman and has 2 young kids with her. they live far away. he fakes his income and makes excuses why he won't show up. the judge could go against me and let him take him for a week like the agreement says. he only calls once a week which lasts 15 seconds. would like him to bow out as the father but not sure how to do that since he won't do it just to make our life difficult. it's never easy!!!

    Comment by greatmom22 (original poster) at 10:35 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Yes ,WENONA MANDY, you sure as hell can.

    The child has 2 parents. If he wants to be consistently more involved, what gives her the right to say he shouldn't? You should request to ease into it, with her seeing him on a more regular basis to become more familiar before staying overnight. Unless you can prove she's not safe, you can't and shouldn't prevent her from seeing her father.

    OP: don't ignore anyone - you asked a question to get others opinions. So, read others opinions and weigh them using your own judgment.

    Answer by snivic at 10:35 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I wouldn't, although I would ask for more regular contact before the overnights begin.

    Children can gain from both parents, not just one.

    Answer by missingruth at 10:38 AM on Aug. 9, 2010

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