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should i deploy????/

My husband is in the army, i just recently found he has membership to adult friend finderds.com and horny matches .com looking for decreat one on one sex. local only... already attached just looking for fun...do it for your contry. the worst was another he had that said man and girl looking for another girl main prob being it was not my birthdate he entered... he says he not cheating and he sorry I SAID YEA THOUGHT YOU GOT CAUGHT SORRY MAYBE...he due to deploy soon...if he not faithful here how can he go 15 months so should i leave him so he can get it on for his contry??????

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moderndayslave

Asked by moderndayslave at 12:38 AM on Oct. 6, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • I went through this exact situation. I am sorry that your hubby is being sneaky like that. If you choose to stay with him, make sure you send him to get checked for all diseases when he returns it that will put your mind at ease. But keep in mind that there are plenty of women there and plenty of cheating goes on over there also.
    Moniquemarie1

    Answer by Moniquemarie1 at 12:48 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Well if you are for sure he is cheating then maybe you should leave him. I would try and find out if he is for sure cheating or not before I would leave him. Try to make it work before you just give up on your marriage. Maybe once he deploys he'll realize what he has done (if he did in fact cheat) and come to his senses. I know some men who deploy don't realize how good what they got at home is until they no longer have it. Maybe once he leaves he'll see how good he has it with you and realize what a dumb ass he was for doing what he did (if he did anything at all).Best of luck to you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I'm trying to understand what exactly you are asking...your initial question was "should I deploy" and then you switched to "should I leave him while he is deployed". What exactly are you asking?

    AvasMommy810

    Answer by AvasMommy810 at 12:55 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • IF I LEFT HIM IT WOUL BE BEFOR HE DEPLOYED...... (YA KNOW SHOULD I DEPLOY?) he will be deploy n soon...
    moderndayslave

    Answer by moderndayslave at 12:59 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • rather or not he did NOT ISSUUE HE WAS LOOKING TO ... AND GOT CAUGHT....THere are all sorts of girls overthere ............AND HERE ..................your call
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • If he gets caught having an affair while deployed, he WILL do time in the brig. Adultery is a very serious matter in the Army. Trust is a necessity in a stable relationship. They test the soldiers for EVERYTHING when they get home from a deployment. I am a fellow Army wife and out of three extended deployments they have ALWAYS tested for diseases upon arrival in the US. DO NOT have sex with him until the testing is complete (it takes about a week depending on the unit). The only person that can make the decision to leave is YOU. If you feel in your heart that you cannot forgive him even after counseling I would suggest that you discuss divorce. If you have children together I say try extensive marital counseling when he returns.

    AvasMommy810

    Answer by AvasMommy810 at 1:04 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Leaving him directly before or during a deployment could get him killed. A soldier needs to be focused on the job at hand while in the middle of a war. What's the rush to get divorced anyway? It would benefit NOBODY to get divorced before his deployment. At my husband's base (Fort Bragg) the Army requires that you go through marital counseling before you are allowed to divorce.

    AvasMommy810

    Answer by AvasMommy810 at 1:09 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • it seems to be happening too much with these men my best friends husband has done the same is still is doing it and some more of his friends from iraq are doing it too.. i think you should use your best judement i told my friend she needed to leave her husband cause he's actually met up with some of the women and a f.y.i theres a site called blackbook that they get onto too so check with that too that's one of the sites my best friend caught her husband on..and do the same thing show him what he's showing you..
    rikaree

    Answer by rikaree at 1:27 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I think u should wait until after the deployment to decide if you want to divorce ur husband. I've been in that situation a couple times. But, as the previous ladies replied, if he wants to cheat, here or iraq he is going to do it, so don't spite him by leaving right b4 a deployment. My husband is marines. In iraq, ALOT of affairs happen so just use that time apart to decide if u can live without him when he gets back. Honestly, you will see that u can and if there's still infidelity u will have more courage to leave without feeling guilty.
    I was told that from the highest-the lowest ranking soldiers cheats over there so if u think u can handle that, then wait until after, and please use a protection if u r planning on having sex after deployment until he gets cleared, medically
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

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