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2 Bumps

Finally Left~~

So I've been havig problems with my kids father, we argu everyday, I'm not happy, theres no romance, doesnt help much with the kids, and always out in the streets, so I finally left him. But the hardest thing to stay away from him is that he always wants to try to make things work, Tells me he'll change and never does. I wish he just left me alone, bc i do love him so he makes this harder on me. What can i do to finally stay away and not go back and fall for hes stories and lies. We have two kids together so i have to see him. I dont know what to do. It only has been a couple of days since i kicked him out, but i feel the difference no yelling from him, or arguing, peace. But i'm weak, so I want to know what you ladies do/did in the past to finally leave and never turn back. Thank You Ladies

Answer Question
 
phoenixjuelz

Asked by phoenixjuelz at 11:57 AM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (140 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • You said it all.

    Not happy. No romance. No help with the kids. Never home. Says he'll change and doesn't.

    You know what to do, no one needs to tell you. You finally stay away. You do not go back. You do not fall for his stories and lies.

    It's all right there in your own post.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 12:01 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I made a list of all the things he did FOR me and the things that he DIDN'T do. It was a reminder when I would start thinking about the nice things about him.

    It kept the perspective of why we couldn't get along.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:02 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • You need to focus on you and your kids nothing but positive vibes and feelings he either needs to change or you need to move on talk to someone dig deep in yourself what do you really want?
    Truelove77

    Answer by Truelove77 at 12:04 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Truelove 77, Crazy I got the same advice from a good girlfriend today, she said work on urself first.. I do need to make myself happy again and boost my self-esteem that he took away from me. If i'm happy I know my kids will be happy. Thank you ladies, It helps so much listening and hearing these things. It makes me so much strronger.
    phoenixjuelz

    Comment by phoenixjuelz (original poster) at 12:07 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • When I left my ex, like everyone else, I was tempted to think only of the good things when I would get lonely. So, I made it a habit to remind myself of the reasons I had not been happy when we were together. When he tried to talk to me about it, I would just tell him, look there is nothing to talk about, and I have nothing to say to you. Unless it is about our children, do not talk to me.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 12:07 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Find a job get a hobby, make your kids your life, volunteer make your life too busy to miss him get the kids involved into stuff so you have to run them places so you stay busy
    Rmember all the things you just mentioned that he'll never change
    Move away if you can know that you are better then this
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 12:09 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • He called today and wants to see the kids, but hes gonna ahve to see them at my place cause he dont have a place of hes own and i know hes going to start to talk to me about things, he says its to see the kids but always ends up be about us.
    phoenixjuelz

    Comment by phoenixjuelz (original poster) at 12:09 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Keep it strike only talk about the kids because no matter what you are going to have him in your life for the rest of your life. H e is the father of your kid's. But if you gave him chances before and he never chance you don't need him in your life plus you said it yourself you don't love him anymore....... I would just drop of the kids with him once a week or in the weekend and when he start talking about how he want to get back just change the subject or just talk to him about how you feel and you don't want to give him a chance because you stop loving him. Good Luck girl but if they don't change the first time trust me they well never change.
    elisabellaguna

    Answer by elisabellaguna at 12:12 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • You go girl! Hope things work for you!
    Truelove77

    Answer by Truelove77 at 12:13 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I agree get a hobby and keep yourself busy. They don't change they will for a while but after that right back to the same person.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 12:14 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

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