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would you be upset...

my SO has all of my passwords to everything of mine on the computer, i feel like i have nothing to hide, so sometimes if he's on the computer i'll ask him to sign me on to whatever site...well, i was just messing with him last night and said, hey, want me to check your myspace for you, and he flipped out, saying that he will give me his password when he's sure there is nothing on there that will cause anything between that right there proves that he's got stuff on there that he shouldn't have, right? my feelings are hurt, not even because i wanted his password, i really didn't, but because the principle of the whole thing, am i right to feel that way? please, no comments about how terrible social networking is, thats not what this is about

when 2 people have been in a relationship this long, we should be more willing to open up and communicate, and lately it seems like he's pulling back, i wonder if this is why?

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:35 PM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Yes, I would be very upset, sounds like he is definitely hiding something. Try talking to him again, let him know how you feel and that you are now suspicious of his online activities. If he freaks out again, you can be sure something just isn't right. A woman's intuition is a wonderful thing, don't ignore your feelings on this. Good luck:)

    Answer by shanlaree at 12:39 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • i will admit that would raise questions to me as well... that seems a tad fishy, and seeing what he said as well.. seems very odd..

    Answer by oppsdiditagain at 12:39 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • It does seem like he is trying to hide something especially the comment about ....when he's sure there is nothing on there that will cause anything between us... I would talk to him again and let him know how upset I was with him and his comment and ask him again for his password neothing should be hiden between 2 of you if you have nothing to hide.

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 12:41 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I would talk to him & say how you feel. This is not fair to you. Tell him what you thinks going on from his reaction.

    Answer by faithhopeclan2 at 12:41 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Of course i would be upset. A relationship goes two ways, not just one way. You should go & change all of your passwords & tell your SO that he can have your passwords when you have his passwords.

    You have every right to feel the way you do. Does your boyfriend REALLY think it's OK for him to know your passwords, but you cannot know his? Does he really think thats how it works, that the man does what he wants but the woman cannot? I would be sneaking into his facebook. If he gave you reason to worry that something is going on behind your back, then i think snooping is OK. I would rather snoop & make sure than to be played for a fool.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:41 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • That would make me wonder what was on there?


    Answer by eluc at 12:53 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • You don't want to hear how social networking sites are bad? Why? Because you are witnessing living proof of it? He is hiding things from you on Myspace. Obviously he isn't mature enough in the relationship to be able to use a site like that honorably. You have every right to have access to his accounts and passwords. In my marriage we have 1 common PW. We also stay away from Myspace & Facebook. I think you need to have a little talk and ask him what he's hiding that he 'thinks' you'll be upset over. Maybe you need to make your boundaries of what is acceptable more clear.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 1:09 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • If he freaked out that bad then he is hiding something he doesn't want you to see. How long have you been together? If it's been quite awhile then he should have been open and honest about everything in his past by now or at least let go of everything he would not want to be out there. I can respect some need for privacy, but he brought it on himself for you to be suspicious. I'd go snooping around to see just what the hell he's hiding, but that's me.

    Answer by michelle121003 at 1:13 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I think you have a right to feel the way you feel; and like you said it's not the fact that you really wanted the passwords but his overall reaction of his request. The way he acted would make me even more suspicious of my husband if he gave me the same response.  There should be nothing there that he wants to hide or clear up before he gives you the password.


    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 1:17 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I don't think he necessarily has something on there that he shouldn't have. Maybe he just wants his privacy. I know that I had stuff on my Myspace long ago, that I wouldn't want my hubby to see. It was venting about him to my girlfriend, or stuff about my friends lives or just personal messages or private journals that were just that, private.

    I think before you assume that he is hiding something "naughty", ask him why he does not want to share. Maybe it's an innocent thing, but he is trying not to cause an argument between the 2 of you, as you may not view whatever it is as innocent.

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 1:30 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

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