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opinions & advice please...

am i white trash for dating a black man who doesnt have a job? he got laid off so it's not his fault and he doesnt have a car bc the transmission went out on it. i'm not taking care of him, he doesn't live with me and if he doesn't get a job within 6 months i probably won't be with him anymore. i don't buy him anything, i do cook for him maybe once a week, but i have food stamps. my son comes 1st and he always will, he has everything he needs/wants and then some. i pay all my bills on time. me & my son do not go without. my family thinks this is a problem. they said if it wasnt for my son they would disown me & never speak to me again.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • your parents sound just like mine...extremely judgemental...you just have to stand your ground and dont allow them to make you question yourself...do you, the rest will fall into place...as long as your boyfriend is truly looking for a job and not constantly asking you for things, i dont get what the problem is. i suspect they are racist and think that you intend to live off public assistance forever simply because you're dating a black guy. hell, when my SO (a black guy) and i first got out own place, my mom didnt visit for over a year because, as she told my sister, she didnt want to see me living in filth in the hood...lol...its hilarious because we live in a nice townhouse near the university. she just assumed that all black people live in rundown houses in the ghetto and was disgusted that my son and i would live like that...in the end she just ended up looking like an ass.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 6:01 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • No you're not white trash! You do what you can. You fall in love with who you love. It's not his fault he lost his job, and as long as he's looking and actively trying to find employment he sounds like a pretty good guy.
    avpriddis

    Answer by avpriddis at 12:48 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • What do they think is the problem? The fact that you are dating a black man or that you get food stamps and he doesn't work and so on...? If it's about racism, then shame on them. If it's about everything else, then I guess you need to make them understand that you are doing the best you can and that most importantly, your son is loved and cared for. Good luck:)
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 12:49 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I wouldn't want to date a person with no job, but it today's economy it certainly happens - I also wouldn't want to rule out a person simply because they are experiencing a difficult time. I like that you're looking ahead and have decided not to stay with him unless he becomes productive again.
    I think that you just need to do what is right for you. The opinions of others are just that - opinions.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 12:54 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I don't think you are white trash! With the way the economy is there are a lot of people who have fallen on difficult times, lost jobs, and are on food stamps or get assistance of some kind and they are doing what they can to provide for their families. As for the boyfriend have they ever liked him or have they always had negative feelings about him? They need to realize that he is a part of your life- and if they don't like that fact it is too bad. You are an adult and your personal life really is not their business, especially since you are paying your bills on time, making ends meet and putting your child first.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:21 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Maybe you're not the issue and it's the person you're with; if that's the case then it's sad. If you are doing for you and your son then I would pay no mind about what others say and in fact you shouldn't have to explain to your family or justify to your family why your BF is in the situation he is; he's not responsible for his bills and you're not responsible for his. Ignore their comments and keep going about your daily life or simply ask them to mind their own business, your relationship with your family should not have anything to do with your personal relationship with the person you're dating.
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 12:48 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • thank you all, this has made me feel alot better. my family acts like i have done something terrible and they are disgusted by this. my mother actually asked me why i want to bring my son up like this.
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 12:59 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • How does all that make you white trash? Am I missing something? Why does it matter who you date?
    michelle121003

    Answer by michelle121003 at 1:08 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Date who u want and be happy and forget the rest.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 2:15 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • As long as he treats you and your son well that's the important thing. Hopefully he is looking for a job!
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 2:47 PM on Aug. 9, 2010