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He wants another one, i dnt. Wat do i do?

I have been w/ my boyfriend,Will, for almost a yr. I was w/ a guy named boston for 2 yrs. boston is the father of my 2 yr. old son n 6 month old lil girl. He has never been there for my daughter tho. Will has always been there for me, n he treats my daughter as she is his. Anyway, we r suppose to get marriedd but, he wants me to have another child w/ him. He says he feels like he is left out, n that he dnt belong 2 this family. I dnt kno wat im doin 2 make him feel this way, but im not ready 2 have another child. I got pregnant w/ my girl wen my son was 8 months, cuz my ex begged me 2 have another 1 w/ him. I had a lot of problems cuz of that. Im only 18, n i want 2 at least wait till my son is out of diapers. i keep tellin him it wld be unhealthy 4 me n the baby. He wants 2 leave if i dnt. I have mirena, so i thought bout tellin him i got it tookin out, but 2 not really do it. i dnt want 2 lie, but i dnt want to lose him.

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Mrs.Ferri

Asked by Mrs.Ferri at 2:59 PM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (182 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • .
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 3:00 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I think you need to stand your ground. When someone gives you an ultimatum like that, then they don't really love you. You are very young and don't NEED a man. Take care of yourself first!
    jreneei

    Answer by jreneei at 3:01 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • You should not have a baby simply because he wants one. If you don't want to have one, that child will know in the long run.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 3:04 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • If he loves you then he'll wait, talk to him about it and let him know how you feel. All you can do is hope for the best.
    DesertRose75

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 3:05 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Oh, honey. I understand not wanting to lose him but he is not being fair to you. First of all, you are only 18 and you already have 2 small children to care for. If he really wants another child why can't he wait? Why is he willing to risk yours and the baby's health? Not to mention putting the extra stress of being so young and then having 3 small children to take care of. If he is threatening to leave you over this you would be better off with out him. He clearly does not have your best interest at heart. Try talking to him. If you want another child talk about waiting till you are ready and have been together a little longer. Otherwise, as hard as it may be you may need to let him go. You deserve someone who really cares about you and your health not his own selfish wants. Good luck, sweetie. I hope things turn out the way you want them to.
    KandDsmama1

    Answer by KandDsmama1 at 3:07 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Well right now you have your hands full. Do not have another baby now. I think you are being very smart. Him on the other hand I do not know. If he wants to leave then let him. It sounds to me he is not the one for you. This is not being an adult man.
    sta517

    Answer by sta517 at 3:07 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • If he doesn't feel like part of the family now he most likely still wont. He should treat BOTH of your kids like his and not just your daughter. You need to think about your kids first not a man. AND remember children dont make relationships better if theyre already troubled(I mean troubled in the way that he doesnt feel he belongs).
    firethearson

    Answer by firethearson at 3:09 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Why would you have another baby with someone who won't "commit" to you No ring, no marriage= no baby for me!
    kjbennett26

    Answer by kjbennett26 at 3:10 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • If he is threatening to leave if you don't want another baby now (and you have 2 and are 18!!) and you are thinking of lying to him then you 2 need to NOT think about getting married anytime soon. If you expect this relationship to work at all it needs to be based on honesty, communication and mutual respect. I see none of that now. Suggest couples counseling. If he balks at that explain this is the only way you will move forward with the relationship.
    SoniaL

    Answer by SoniaL at 3:11 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Tell him to hit the road and don't come back. Your baby is 6 months what is he thinking about. What if you have a baby from him then he changes then what. You will have 3 kids on your hand just think about that for a minute.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 3:12 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

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