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Similarities and differences

Adoptive moms - is your (adopted) child a lot like you, or is he or she a very different personality?

Birth moms - is your (birth) child like you in personality, or different?

Adoptees - are there many similarities between you and your (adoptive) family? If you know about your birth family, are you a lot like them in many ways? Do you have some of the same talents and interests?


Asked by Iamgr8teful at 4:21 PM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Adoption

Level 25 (23,279 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • Nature and nurture does not have to be versus. They can compliment. You take a chips as they are, how they respond to their world, and you nurture their inner being- the person that child is. To pit nature vs. nurture against one another is ignorant. If a child shows a passion or an interest you nurture that. You nurture their self concept, their history, their cultural, and who that child is in that moment. We honor the spirit of the child who was born with a unique personality and traits that will serve them
    a life time. We as parents have the power to contribute to our childs traits and abilities in a positive way or destructive. Every parent, bio, adoptive, or foster has the equal ability nuture or to deflate a child's sense of self. So I choose both nature and nurture. I assist my child in gaining confidence in his abilities and skills whatever they may be.

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:29 PM on Aug. 14, 2010

  • For those who don't already know, I am an adoptive mom. My daughter is a lot like me in some ways. She is very determined and energetic. She is unlike me in that she is very confident and outgoing with people she doesn't know. I admire that trait in her, though, because I hope that it means she will have an easy time making friends and not be swayed by peer pressure, since she is such a strong personality.

    My son is just turning two, so it's a little early to tell. He seems to be more on the introspective and cautious side like me.

    I could tell how different my kids' personalities were from each other when my youngest was very tiny. My son is less intense and generally more easygoing. They are definitely unique little people.

    Comment by Iamgr8teful (original poster) at 4:24 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I'm a BM and my Dd has a lot of my expressions and even acts like me a lot of the time.

    Answer by MomtoElliett at 4:26 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I am an adoptee, and I am much more like my adoptive family than my bio family. I do know some of my bio family and most of them are either crazy or pill poppers. My parents (the ones who adopted me) are my family. I have alot of my dad's personality traits, and my mom's mannerisms.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 4:36 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • From what I know of my first my child - he has a lot of personality, and I'm sure some of his adoptive parents qualities are mixed in. I chose a couple that shared the same interests, personality and appearance as my husband and I, so I wouldn't be surprised if my son was a lot like them as well.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 5:14 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I'm a birthmom. My DD is 10.5. I do see a lot of myself in her, but it's more inherited things. Personality-wise, she's a good mix of inherited and learned.

    Answer by 4time-mom at 5:18 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I'm curious especially about the talents and interests because I know that there can be some similarities in people sharing a genetic heritage. I was not adopted, but one thing I have in common with one grandfather is that we both enjoy(ed) making things with our hands. When he passed away, I inherited some peach pits that he had carved into monkeys. My daughter is a fantastic artist already, and I haven't been able to find out whether anyone in her birth family likes to draw. I'll have to ask again.

    Comment by Iamgr8teful (original poster) at 7:41 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I'm an adoptee and this is a good question. I guess I have a mix of traits-some from the adoptive family and some from the birth family. Some of my attitudes and the way I handle things I definitely got from my adoptive family. I still to like to do many of the same things I grew up with and shared with my adopitve family. When I found my birth family though I was surprised to find some things like aptitudes and interests seemed to be genetic. And it was kind of eerie when first meeting them to find that my gestures when I talk are so much like my birth family-you would think that would be something you learn but I guess not. I was surprised by some of the things I had in common with some of them. Then there are other things that are uniquely me, don't seem to come from either family.

    Answer by confused969 at 10:42 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • From my husband's angle - no. My husband is an introvert. I can be an extrovert and that we share. He is much more expressive than I ever was and I imagine more than my husband as well. My son is a perfectionist and gets frustrated if it is not exactly right. My husband by far is so not a perfectionist, too laid back. I can be but over all I don't care about being perfect in most situations in my home life. He is very focused and driven by what he loves so in that way he is like his dad. Both can spend hours on their hobby. Cars and trains for my child. Sports/politics for my spouse. I'm too ADHD to be that committed. I'm scattered. My child loves routine and order. So do we as his parents as far as a scedule goes. He is very sensitive and I'mmore thick skinned. Loves to be social but he hates being the center of attention. Same for me. My husband is just not social.

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:25 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • The son I relinquished is far more like me than the 2 children I raised, physically and in other ways as well. His amom asked me if I liked to cook in early reunion because he does and he did not pick it up from her. Birth dad and I both love to cook. We feel similarly about politics and religion and have many of the same hobbies and interests. Plus, we both love to travel and are very adventuresome, way more than my other children. His amom is not as outgoing and talkative as he and I. I was amazed at reunion at how much alike he and I are in so many ways. He loves the outdoors, skiing, hiking, backpacking, but is not musically inclined or good at math...just like me.

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:34 AM on Aug. 10, 2010