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so my husband and i are doing pretty bad marrige wise if any of you went to marrige councling can you please tell me so things you did there and if it worked we dont have the money to go but we need help

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klinemom2

Asked by klinemom2 at 7:20 PM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (60 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • You might try a local church. Lots of times they will help for free!
    KamiB79

    Answer by KamiB79 at 7:22 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • What to do in some ways depends on the problems you guys are having. But here are some basic, almost blanket things that anyone in a marriage, especially if there are problems in the marriage, that couples should be doing. Through 25yrs of marriage, there are very few problems we haven't had, we've read books, therapy, groups sessions retreats.. lol

    Both should be and be able to openly honestly and safely discuss any and every issue that is going on in the marriage. No matter how big or small. This takes good communication. If you guys have bad communication that's where you start learning how to communicate with one another.

    Once the sharing begins. Work together to address and rectify the issues/problems at hand. Work together not against one another.

    Learn what is important enough to fight over, and what really isn't. Somethings in life. Do not matter. Learning what those things are for you as a couple helps. co
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 7:25 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • One idea.......cheaper than counseling.........Dr Phil's book, I believe it is Relationship Rescue, is supposedly very good. There is a workbook with it. You do the work together. Good luck to you.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:28 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Most marital discord is usually caused by communication problems. Lack of communication, inhibited communication, miscommunication.. Couples need to be able to communicate about anything and everything no matter how big or small. That takes learning each other's communication styles.

    Another marriage issue that happens alot and causes problems. Not understanding/comprehending the others actions. Especially when it comes to : showing love, showing afection, respect, admiration, appreciation, even romance and espressions of love in that since. People do things all the time to show those things, and their partner just not "get" it because that's not how they interpret those things. You have to know who each other communicates and interprets those things so that when they are being shown, both parties "Get" it. This cuts down on lots of hurt feelings and resentments.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 7:29 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Darlin', screw paying a therapist. I'm a real-life a"Dear Abby" to all my friends' problems, and I do a pretty good job of listening/giving advice when needed. Message me directly if you like.
    Kassey713

    Answer by Kassey713 at 7:36 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • there are places that will provide counseling on a sliding scale. it is worth it to go and interact with a real live counselor rather than relying on books and amateurs. although you can get good advice and learn some tools for communicating a live person can give you feedback on when things work and help you tweak things in a way you can't get elsewhere. if either of you are unemployed, you may have access to an EAP (employee assistance plan). Also check with United Way (211), Catholic Charities, and look to your county mental health board and the like for free workshops. Non-profits don't have an advertising budget, so sometimes these things aren't obvious that they are available.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 7:50 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Going to a church if you're religious is an excellent option. All priests and most pastors are trained in counceling for just that purpose. . .My husband and I did see a marriage councelor years ago, but I have to tell you, he wasn't very helpful. In fact, he was judgemental and told me that my husband would absolutely leave me. . . four solid happy years and one new baby later we've honestly never been happier (in all the 15 years we've been together <3 ) Definitely, screw paying a therapist as Kassey just said. . . unless you're sure you've found a good one. . . Good luck sweetie. . .
    Jennifina

    Answer by Jennifina at 7:52 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • We actually watched that movie... Fireproof Your Marriage. It's helped us a lot.
    nytefae

    Answer by nytefae at 10:36 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • agree with most of these ladies what about a trip for the weekend =)
    Leilene07

    Answer by Leilene07 at 5:00 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • good luck hun
    regian19832002

    Answer by regian19832002 at 10:49 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

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