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2 Bumps

has anyone else had a temper/anger issue?

I have a terrible temper. I was ridiculed, humilated, demeaned, decieved, unloved, hated when I was growing up.I cried a lot and was called a crybaby so many times for it (by parents) that I learned to find places to cry where no one could hear me. When I turned 12 I was promised that I would never see my abuser again if I signed a note to get him out of jail for the abuse (sexual & physical). Needless to say I ended up back with him and he was pissed at me and ready to kill me. I've had a serious temper ever since. I break things when people give me the slightest hint of not caring for me. I have a good life but I sometimes want to leave my family because of my temper. I've broke things due to my temper. It upsets my SO and my daughter recently saw me do this. How the hell do I get it in control? I have a therapist but I am so ashamed to admit how terrible I am. Anyone had a temper they were able to control?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:48 PM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • You could control it of you tried hard enough. I had a rough childhood, was abused & constantly surrounded by violence, lived in foster care, the whole nine. After i had my DD, i found peace. I told myself that i would provide for her what i did not have. I made a deal with myself & god, that i woud l love her to my fullest ability & protect her from the kinds of people i was raised with. You have to focus. You have to tell yourself, even out loud if you need to that you're better than that & that your child does not deserve it. If you want to freak out, go scream into a pillow, or get a stick & whack a tree outside. You first need to learn how to control it in front of people, go outside or in your bedroom if you need to. Just walk away. We have the ability to control anything we want to, we just have to want it bad enough. This behavior could get your child taken away if anyone saw. Think of what is important & protect that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • you should check into a drug called buspar..it works well for ppl with tempers and it has no known side effects...if you want more info message me
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 7:56 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I would suggest opening up to your therapist, have you told her you feel ashamed and how much it hurts you to hurt your family? I was brought in a home where I was emotionally, mentally and physically abused. For some the reactions we have are based on the foundations that were ingrained in our subconscious. I use to have horrible rages, throwing things at my husband (dishes, phones, dresser drawers, food), I even took some of it on my kids not hitting but the yelling was ridiculous, over the stupidest things. I found out I have Bi-Polar that contributes to my inability to stop the mood, some people can control and some of us cannot. Something happens it triggers a feeling that triggers a mood that triggers a reaction, and until you can find the trigger you can't really resolve, you first have to know the problem to fix it - you're counselor can help you do this. Hang in there, you can gain control, just takes some work.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 8:11 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • your therapist is there to work with you and they can't help you if you don't tell them everything. It will NOT be the worst they have ever heard and that's their JOB, to hear your problems and help guide you through your life. They need all the information to be able to help you. i get angry sometimes too and tend to be a screamer and I hate it. My mother was and it scares me I do it, too. I also have a bad habit of road rage where I follow people that cut me off and get out rap on their window and yell at them for what they did and insist they apologize. It scares my mom and my DH when they have saw me do it. I am currently taking a drug called Lamictal normally used for bipolar patients, my dr doesn't think I am bipolar but says when I get angry or irritated I go so far from my normal personality that he prescribed it. I do think it has helped. Keep talking and don't be afraid to reveal and open up to get help you deserve.
    jamesonjustines

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 9:12 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • you can't continue to go through life this way... think of this like this: how much worse could it be to admit to someone who is there to help you that you have a problem than to live with the way you feel now and much of the time, and worry about the effects this will have on your family.. i was angry for a long time - i ended up having a drinking problem because of it and landed in jail for assault (the idiot deserved it really, but still...). i got my therapy in AA and my life is changed - don't think THAT wasn't a hard pill to swallow, but I'm soooooo glad I made that choice... you have things that never got worked out in your life. you didn't learn good skills for dealing with things. it's not too late and it's nothing you need to be embarrassed about. worse to know that you need help and be too proud to get help..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

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