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I don't understand

What is his problem? We've been ttc for a long time. I'm taking clomid. DH says he really wants a baby and gets excited talking about it and how fun it would be to have another child. But when I'm ovulating, things in bed are a disaster! He is either too tired to do it or goes to bed really early before I even realize he had gone to bed. Or we actually do end up doing the baby dance and he will pull out. WTH!!!?? I asked him why the H he is doing that and he just says he was trying to make it last longer. The thing is the only time he does that is when I am ovulating. Why is he lying to me about wanting another baby when clearly he doesn't? I've been tempted to not tell him when I'm ovulating, but if he really doesn't want a baby then I have no business having one with him.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:20 PM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I think the best thing to do is to ask him point blank "Do you really want another baby or are you only saying you do to make me happy" and then you can have a real conversation.
    Maureen-MD

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 8:22 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Sounds like he doesn't really want another child.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 8:27 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • ugh.That is strange, doesnt make too much sense. Wonder why he would do that. Is he getting scared at the last minute or what. I would say that during normal conversation he is still showing interest and enthusiasm about having a baby..I would just not tell him when your ovulating anymore and just do it. Maybe his nerves are getting to him.Maybe he pulls out because he wants the moment to last longer and be special, knowing what you guys are doing is special. Maybe he's just another weird man,lol.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 8:37 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • why would he make u go through all that and take the clomid if he didn't really want one? i think u both need to have a serious conversation about it. and like PPs have said maybe just stop telling him when you're ovulating and let nature take its course (with little nudges from you of course, but don't TELL him :P ) hopefully its just nerves on his part :-/
    DreainCO

    Answer by DreainCO at 8:48 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I would quit telling him, and just have sex, let it happen naturally.

    This may put to much pressure on him...

    Men are strange...LOL
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 11:12 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Two things....

    He may be feeling the pressure to perform, which takes away from the joy and intimacy of the act in the first place.
    OR
    He really doesn't want to have another child yet, but loves you and is trying to be supportive verbally in what you want.

    Either way, an intimate, non-confrontational conversation needs to take place between the two of you. If he's not quite ready, you need to know so you can get off the drugs and bond with dh again. If he's seriously interested in a child, but the pressure is too much, then don't let him know when you're ovulating. To be sneaky about it is no way to show respect toward your dh or his feelings. In the same breath, to pull out while you're trying to conceive is no way to show respect to you, especially while you're taking a drug to help conceive.

    A heart to heart conversation, without anger or accusations is needed.
    Sonnut

    Answer by Sonnut at 8:47 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

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