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2 Bumps

How do I tell him I hate my birthday presents without hurting his feelings?

My DH forgot my birthday. He only remembered after I said something. How do "we" celebrate? We do things that he wants. No matter what I say, he still wants to do things his way. Fine, whatever. However, the thing that got me was when he went out and bought me my birthday gifts. Now I was prepared to get something I didn't like, but this is horrible. It is something that my mother would wear and use!! Normally I am thankful for what little I get, but looking at this stuff honestly makes me want to cry. After all the time we spent together and he doesn't get me at all. Part of this has to do with the fact the he promised to buy me a new laptop after I sold mine. I had pay his part of the bills because he quit his job and sent all of his money to his mom without thinking. I guess I'm still bitter that he doesn't try. How do I tell him without hurting his feelings?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I'm Sorry you were forgotten. How I hate these days.. I've had many! I'd just be honest about it. Otherwise if you pretend to like it you may get it over & over again. You Liked it then. You must still like it! Good Luck! Happy Belated Birthday! Hope you get what you want!

    Answer by Angellinda at 9:40 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • you'll hurt his feelings anyway I think. Just tell him you didn't feel like he put much thought into it and leave it at that.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 9:32 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • It sounds like he needs a wake up call....ask him for the gift receipt and when he tells you why tell him the gift was not something you would like/use and that you are going to take it back. After that have a talk with him about his unfair celebratory practices...if it's your day he should respect you and do things you want....i'm sorry that all this happened to you....

    Answer by shortleo at 9:32 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • My husband has done this too, unfortunately for him I was opening them in front of my kids, who said - You know she won't wear that? Or WTH were you thinking? To which I replied you still have the receipt right?
    I'd be honest, tell him you appreciate his attempt but you feel like he really doesn't know the things you like. I would give him a list, I started to do that as well, just leaving hints when we are shopping or when I see something on tv and I make it a point to do it over and over again so that he doesn't forget. :)

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 9:32 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • It kind of sounds like there are bigger issues than not getting what you wanted for your birthday like why is he supporting his mother and you are left to support the family? If the item upsets you donate it to charity or take it back to the store (you probably won't need a receipt if you just ask for store credit). As for not doing what you like/want for your birthday, why not plan your next birthday or anniversary with something you want, don't wait for him to plan it.

    Answer by scout_mom at 9:52 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Next year be very specific in what you want or say you want to go to lunch or dinner and shopping together to pick out your present. My husband has given me some terrible gifts too like a showerhead and a cell phone charger. AS GIFTS. I just tell him now exactly what I want, like actually email him the link to buy it, or tell him not to get me anything and get myself what I want so I won't be disappointed. I'm sorry your special day was a bomb.

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 9:34 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Say thank you and take it all back and get what you want.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:39 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • if wasn't for my daughter i wouldn't have nice gifts .when my hubby goes out my other kids lol where you on drugs before you left and we all lol i never taken a gift back because he picked it out i will wear it no matter what

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 1:27 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • wtf

    Answer by regian19832002 at 10:44 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I would just say thank u. It is the thought that counts. Some people get nothing for their birthdays. At least he made an effort.

    Answer by JoyandLove at 9:30 PM on Aug. 9, 2010