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"mom just to let you know I was drinking last night and thought you should know ahead of time" ....WTH!!... How would you respond to this?

so my 17 yr old tells me this 10 minutes after I wake up, while she is headed to work....I was still half asleep and didn't know what to say and I do appreciate the honesty and asked her where she got the stuff, she told me where...and gave me all the details of the night before....and asked her why anybody would be calling me? she said that 2 of her friends had a drunk driving accident...I NEVER hear about his sort of stuff...((((Small town..clicky moms....don't talk to people like me,, from another area))))
Well now she is on a short leash but admire the honesty.
How do you handle it when you find out your teens are drinking?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Aug. 9, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I would handle it a lot better with that kind of honesty. To be completely fair I would praise her for being open enough to talk with you before the other parents did. I would think in this situation maybe grounding her would be best with the idea that harsher punishment would come if the behavior continues. She has shown she is mature enough to own up to her mistakes.
    Liansmommie

    Answer by Liansmommie at 5:57 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • I don't think you need to 'handle' anything. you obviously have a good enough relationship with your dd that she felt comfortable telling you about it and was open and honest, albeit AFTER the fact. just THANK GOD that she was not in the vehicle with her friends and didn't get hurt. She needs to be made aware of the dangers of alcohol and especially drunk driving. Maybe u could set up a presentation by the police department or i know there is lots of former teenage drunk drivers who do 'inspirational speeches' to help deter teenagers from drinking and driving, find one in your area and take her to it. Telling her never to drink again isn't gonna keep her safe but discussing the pros and cons and dangers of it and being open and honest with her just might. Good Luck mama!
    DreainCO

    Answer by DreainCO at 11:33 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • i done the same thing at your dd age...and i was treated quite well and i like the respect i got from my parents by telling them and they did not freak out on me..be glad she was honest and be sure to let her know that when she does drink if she ever gets to drunk or is supposed to drive let her know its always ok to call home and ask you to come and get her...just as mine did and i can tell you i was always kid that was either the designated driver or the one makin others stop...bc i was trusted and knew when was enough and when to help everyone else
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 11:31 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I agree with Dreain as well. I think it is a wonderful thing that she felt like that she could tell you. Don't do anything that would jeapordize her feeling like she can talk to you. Try to handle it in another way.
    hsmominky

    Answer by hsmominky at 11:42 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Well, thankfully I have not had to deal with this yet. My kids don't like the way there dad drinks so I hope that is enough of a deteraunt. However, my SO has had this whole drinking talk with his daughter (19). It came about because he actually asked her if she had ever been drinking. She was honest with details and they discussed things between them.
    marchar2002

    Answer by marchar2002 at 11:32 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • I agree with Dreain
    DeeMarie87

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 11:39 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Maybe have your house become the hang out. Get tons of pizzas in the oven and a pool table or something for the kids to do. That's truly the only way i think you'll be certain they're not drinking elsewhere...
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 11:48 PM on Aug. 9, 2010

  • Personally I would not punish her, she is 17 years old and whether the drinking age is 21 or not most teenagers do end up drinking. She is obviously mature enough to make her own decisions and the fact that she told you what happened IMO should negate any punishment. If you do ground her she definitely will not be telling you next time, and there more than likely will be a next time. I agree that you should tell her that she can always call you for a ride if she really needs it, and also tell her that drinking in excess is bad for you. I recently had a similar situation to this where my 18 year old left to "sleep over his friends house" on friday night and came home saturday afternoon with hickies all over his neck. I asked him what happened and he just said "Yea I am not getting that drunk ever again". He won't tell me what happened but at least he had sense not to drive.
    elizJ

    Answer by elizJ at 9:49 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • I have had that conversation, not the accident part, but the I was drinking last night part. Yes I was glad she told me, and not really too surprised. I know I will hear about this, but, I think that it is expected that at some point teens are going to try things, and drinking is one of them. I by no means approve. But I am not the mom who will luck my kid up for that. If she was driving or in the car with a drunk driver, that is different. Knowing your kid does drink or smoke or whatever, and approving are two different things. I will not approve of that until she is legal. I did and would again put her on a short leash. I just feel like to over punish will just keep her from coming to me next time. And that would be wrong to me.
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 3:41 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

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