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I am SOOOOOO confused with my daughter's behavior

my daughter (going to be 19) has been going out with a guy for 2 1/2 yearsFirst real boyfriend not a great one. I felt he used her to meet other girls from high school. He did admit to cheating on her at least once. He asked her to marry him. I asked her how could she know he was the one when she really didn't date anyone else and was so young. She decided to "date" a few other guys meaning she went to a movie with them.All this time she was with the boyfriend even more than she was before and staying at his house.Now she is going out with a girl but still at his house. She never came across to me as gay.I think this is an experiment or something . I give up. Any ideas? Thanks!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:33 AM on Aug. 10, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (15)
  • she is young..and having fun. I would try not to get too involved with her "sex/relationship" life at her age. She is going to go through stages and changes and you just have to let her find her way
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:36 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • She's struggling to figure out where she fits in. Talk to her, support her, let her know she's special & doesn't need another person to give her a sense of self worth. Get her counseling if she has low self esteem. Some ppl drift around for a bit before they discover the wonderful, unique person they are. Let her know you'll always be there for her.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 8:37 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • now is the age to be a "friend" type parent
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:37 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • This sounds a lot like the way I was when I was that age. I think that it is a lot of just experimentation and she'll do that for a little while. I will say that if she's staying with him more now that that is probably just because you told her you think she needs to be around more. She probably thinks that you may be trying to push her from him which will just push her harder towards him. Just give her some time and let her know that you love her no matter what. Have faith in how you raised her and know you taught her right. =) Hope that makes you feel at least a little better.
    lilmama121406

    Answer by lilmama121406 at 8:37 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Your daughter is the one who is confused. I would say that her behavior is evidence that she doesn't know who or what she wants. She didn't get this way overnight, and it's not likely that she will get it figured out that soon either. Do you know of anyone whose opinion and counsel she might value that you could ask to go and talk with her? Sometimes, an outside opinion will be heard in cases like this whereas Mom is often turned off. I've spoken with a few young women in this situation. Sometimes, they have listened to me, sometimes not, but I think it would be worth a try.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:39 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Love is blind. It is so frustrating when your children can't see what you see. The only thing you can do is let her know you are there for her without judgement. Make sure when you talk to her that is what you do talk, don't lecture or put the boy down. Listen and offer advise only if asked. This is so much easier said than done, but when it is all over, she will need someone who loves her unconditionally. I only hope she gets out of the relationship before she really becomes hurt. Good luck to you and your daughter.
    momx3gx1b

    Answer by momx3gx1b at 8:43 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • She is trying to find her identity, support her in everyway possible.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:48 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • never try to understand a teenager, just listen and love....their true self will come out some time in their mid 20s hopefully, lol !
    FXmomTo3

    Answer by FXmomTo3 at 10:18 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • She is just figuring herself out, all is ok Mom!! Be a friend, supportive, educational about STD's, a listening ear as well!
    MKSers

    Answer by MKSers at 11:54 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • She's trying to find her own identity. Talk to her let her know your there for her.
    zadesmom1998

    Answer by zadesmom1998 at 10:39 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

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