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Extra house guest. grrrrr

My husband's niece moved out of her mom's house during her senior year of high school so my husband invited her to live with us without consulting me. We agreed that it would be okay for her to stay if she abided by certain rules, helped clean, went to college and had a job.

She is 18, doesn't clean up after herself and only comes home in the middle of the night and leaves while we are working. She screwed off all summer and won't be able to take any college classes in the fall. She only works 7-15 hours/week and is not even trying to get another job.

My husband wants ME to talk to her about how to act and her finding a new place. But I feel like HE should. HE invited her and she is HIS neice.

I feel used and like she needs to get herself together or get out.

Anyone else been through this?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Aug. 10, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • i see no problem with telling her that she needs to get a full time job seeing as how she isn't going to school.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 10:33 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • I've never been through this but I'd tell my husband it's his responsabilty to talk to her. It's HIS neice, HE invited her, he shouldn't leave you to clean up HIS messes.
    Good luck.... Hope it all works out for you....

    Answer by Sadim24 at 10:34 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Notice something .. He invited her to live with you, now he's asking you to be the bad guy and straighten her out. See what he's refusing? He's refusing to be the bad guy himself in both ends of the situation. He didn't say "No" initially and he won't tell her "Straighten up" now. I actually think that you BOTH should sit her down and talk to her about how to straighten up. Because it is YOUR house. I understand that he invited her in, but you agreed that she could stay as long as she followed the rules. Therefore, if you're not willing to kick her out then you both need to step up and be the parent of the household.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:36 AM on Aug. 10, 2010