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2 Bumps

am i over reacting or wrong?

so now i live with sil. im telling hubby she needs to learn a lesson. so my mil found my sil (17yr) having sex in mil bed with some guy. so she kicked her out. now she is here and doesnt want to help with anythign and spends all day long outside. so im telling hubby and her that since she is living under our roof she will do what we say. so i told her she cat go out unless she tells me where she is going and with who and she needs to be back at the time we tell her.i also told her before she leaves she will clean the room where she is staying and also she will do her own laundry. i have a 2 yr old and a 4 month old. so she got mad hubby said im over reacting. like i tell hubby if we let her do as she please shes going to end up pregnant or in jail. and i was a teen mom and no its not easy. my mil would let her do everythign she wanted. i cannot do this she is under our responsability and she needs to learn am i wrong?

 
Alejandra10

Asked by Alejandra10 at 10:51 AM on Aug. 10, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,710 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I dont think you are. she is almost 18 and needs to learn to grow up and bit so she can support herself when the time comes. that means school and a job plus cleaning up after herself. you aren't her maid, nanny and boss.. She should be an equal and help the family out that is helping her.. not making it worse for everyone.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 10:55 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • you're right on all counts
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:54 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • How are you overreacting? Your house your rules...simple as that. Anything thing else is letting her remain immature and selfish, and that will not benefit anyone. Sometimes it comes down to tough love...giving in to her is just condoning her behavior. Stay strong...you can do it!!!!!!
    Heathercurlz

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 10:55 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • You're not wrong but, well, good luck with that. That's going to be a long tough road.
    caseyandkids

    Answer by caseyandkids at 11:00 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • I think it not asking alot for a 17yr old to clean up after herself, do her own laundry and be respectful to you and your husband. If she doesn't like then tell her she has 6mths to get a decent job and find an apt on her own that she can afford with NO help from anyone else. You might want to remind her, that when she lives alone, she will still have to clean up after herself and do her own laundry ON TOP of having to buy her own food, cook her own meals, and buy furniture.
    Maureen-MD

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 11:02 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Your roof, your rules! She is totally dependant on you and your DH...she needs to respect that or get out!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:00 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • I have to agree with everyone else. Your house your rules. Either she follows them, or she gets out.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 11:03 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • You are exactly right. I wouldn't fight about it. Just lay out the rules and give an option. Follow them or leave.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 11:04 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • You are right and if you DH doesn't want to listen I would tell him and his skanky sister to leave! Sorry but having sex in your mothers bed is skanky.
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 11:20 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Your house, your rules. If she can't follow the rules (which seem pretty fair to me), she can find another place to live.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:25 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

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