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would you put your life on hold so your hubby could go for his dreams??

my boyfriend (4yrs) is a musician, and we are just making it financially and he doesnt have any money left over to put into his music so he wants to move back into our parents houses, which are 5 minutes from each other in order for him to be able to save up more money. but im not convinced that this is his only reason, i suspect that he may really just want more time to devote to his music and in living away from me, he could put more time into the music instead of me (of course he would never admit that). but my mom doesnt want me to come home, she says i should be trying to move on without him, and let him go home, and i work and handle my own household without him. im just confused, do i go or do i stay, i just dont want to look like an ass in the end for trying to make a sinking ship float so to speak.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Aug. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I agree with your mother. Move on with your life. If he catches up at some time, then great, and if not, then you've found out in time.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:09 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • i would. But in your case is he actually an artist? a real one or just a want to be one?
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 2:10 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Honey, I just don't like the sound of that situation. Why can't you just move into one of your parent's houses? Why do you have to move to separate houses? I honestly get the feeling that it's just an excuse for him to be like a bachelor again - no wife, no kids, just do what he wants when he wants.
    DarkFaery131

    Answer by DarkFaery131 at 2:10 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • He sounds immature, your not married I say get rid of him. Stand on your own, dont hold yourself back for someone who only thinks of himself.
    browningmom

    Answer by browningmom at 2:11 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • I'm with your mom. Sounds like he wants to split up, but isn't man enough to come out and say it... and is probably trying to string you along to keep those "special" benefits.

    The ship has BIG holes, back away, let it go down... don't get sucked in with it.
    coder_chick

    Answer by coder_chick at 2:13 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • I love my hubbie very much... My life is just as important if not more as his... So no i would not put my life on hold for his dreams, in fact we will work on both of our dreams together as that is what married people do work together.
    MTM

    Answer by MTM at 2:13 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • I wouldn't put your life on hold... You need to pursue your own passions in life and find out what you love to do... don't wait around for a guy to bring fulfillment in your life... If you learn how to live as a fulfilled adult on your own then when you decide to get married later (to him or to someone else) it will make for a happier marriage!
    elizabiza

    Answer by elizabiza at 2:16 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • I think your mom is right. This sounds very much like an excuse to get rid of you. I would not wait around for him to make the move. I would handle it myself. If you were married to him, then my answer would be different. In that case, you would not be putting your life on hold; you would instead be making an investment in your life together which is far different. This dude is not doing what he's doing for the good of both of you. This is all about him, and I would throw him back into the swamp from which he came.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:17 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • If it were me, I would tell him I was not moving home to my parents, I was a big girl and I would make it on my own. That if he wanted to move back to his parents, fine move. But if we had children together, and he was choosing to move back to his parents he better plan to choose to pay child support too!
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 2:33 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • because i am 100% sure that i want to spend the rest of my life with my SO, then yes, i would put my life on hold for his dreams if it was reasonable...in your situation though, no. i agree with all the pp who said hems just coming up with a chicken shit way of breaking up with you...i say itms time to move on. if you insist on clinging to some hope of this working out, then you get your own place that you can afford by yourself and let him move back home. you guys can date casually while seeing other people too...i think you will soon find the relationship is over and he wasnt really as great of a guy as you may think he is now. me personally, i would NEVER move back in with my parents. im an adult so i intend to do what is necessary to maintain my own household.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 4:19 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

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