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What to do after you catch your husband masterbating?

I have to post this anonymously, as it is so embarassing to me. I have been with my husband for just over three years now and we've been married one year. I always assumed he masterbated, I mean, I assume all men do, but I've never witnessed it, nor wanted to. Last night, after putting my son to bed, I walked into our bedroom and "caught him in the act" so to say. Maybe I'm just a prude, but I was highly disgusted and he says to me "So, do you want to do it?" Oh my god, it was just so embarassing and disturbing for me. I wish I had never walked in there. I did though and now I don't know if I should just pretend it never happened or talk about it or what?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Oct. 6, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (61)
  • It is a natural thing. If you cannot talk to him about how it feels to you then that is a problem. Ask if he can close the door and lock it next time. Tell him you are not comfortable about it. It is not that you do not love him sexually, you just rather not see him "do it" and if he loves you, he would understand it. Besides, one day your son will be doing it too and you need to come up with "ground rules" or you will have major issues/problems. Besides, if you masturbate, would you want your husband to see you too? Or your son when he is old enough to walk? It can be done, just done in more private settings. You do not have to have talks with your son yet, but try having it with your husband is a good start.


    Answer by kimchimom at 1:22 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • pretend it never happened

    Answer by Lyndall at 11:13 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I wouldn't worry about you said, you already knew in your mind it probably happened. If I saw mine, I would probably laugh since I know he doesn't like to and really only does once or twice a year, but I wouldn't take it personally or anything.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 11:16 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • it would turn me on and id probably watch or wed end up doing it, but my husband doesn't like to do it by himself, he prefers us do it together and then have sex. did u ask him if he was interested in sex w u or just getting off? yes i agree if they are doing it just to get off it would be weird to walk in on them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I am the same way. I know they must do it sometimes but I am one that just doesn't wanna see it or know it. I ignore it. I never mention it or anything.

    Answer by filipinanphilly at 11:16 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • They all do it. That's the nature of the beast! Forget it.

    Answer by worrier at 11:17 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Lmfao, I have walked in on my husband several times and he just looks at me with big eyes and I say, "o, you are busy...sorry about that tiger." We have talked about it a few times and he gets really embaressed so, I dont bring it up anymore. I probably wouldn't say anything. It's natural. Your SO didn't think you were going to walk in on him.

    Answer by raybell at 11:18 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Just tell him it's disturbing to you and that you prefer that he do that alone and with the door locked so you don't walk in on him again.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:20 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Yeah, I probably embarassed the hell out of him. I just said "Oh my god! Are you jerking off!?" That was when he said "Yeah, so do you want to do it?" and I just walked away and shut the door. I couldn't help it though, it's impossible he could've been any more embarassed than I was.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • get over it every guy does ....

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Oct. 6, 2008