Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

So if my SO/DH pays for everything than I can't tell him anything if he fucks up or I'm not allowed to debate his decisions even if I don't think they are right?

Some woman on here have given advice to others telling them that if she doesn't pay the bills she can't say anything, is that really how you guys think? If a man pays for something we have to be puppets and just fall at his feet we don't have a voice? He's allowed to be a lazy bum and accumulate dust in the couch and not help with kids or anything just because he brings home money? That's absurd!!

 
ProudMammaMia

Asked by ProudMammaMia at 4:12 PM on Aug. 10, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 17 (3,619 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • some wives do that. they feel that its' their duty to keep the house, and the kids, their DH/SO goes to work, comes home and relaxes.

    not me though. dh comes home, he helps with dishes, laundry, the kids, we give each other breaks, we both play with the kids, go out on family nights at least once a month, ect. it takes 2 to make a child, it takes 2 to raise one. especially at a very young age as my kids. we've decided that no matter what, i'm to stay home with the kids until they're both in school, then i'll get a part time job. up till age 5 is a critical age, they learn alot at that age. no offense to single ladies though, i respect you, how you do it is beyond me.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 4:19 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Are you talking about not having a say in what happens with the finances as your title suggests? Or are you saying that he also needs to do household chores as the body of your question suggests?
    I am a SAHM and don't expect my husband to clean. Why should he? He needs to be a daddy and spend time with his kids but otherwise I have things handled.
    As far as finances. Of course the married couple should both know what's going on. Things should be discussed and money shared.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 4:17 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • I work full time, so I don't know how those that live on someone else's income handle things. That being said... if you don't like how he thinks things should run, it's a free country, you can always get out of his puppet show and do things on your own. I'm not saying SAHM's should be puppets.... I'm just saying if you don't like it, do something about it.
    coder_chick

    Answer by coder_chick at 4:18 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • In our house, we both work, all the money goes in a joint account, and I pay the bills. I joke with him and tell him it's my money that goes into the fun stuff and his pays the bills. When I stayed home, he worked and I still payed the bills, but no, he did not get to be a lazy bum and not help out with the kids.
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 4:18 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • no thats just how most of our dam men think they get better but it take a long time i feel you to GAY!
    saadamarie

    Answer by saadamarie at 4:16 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • WE at this house are a team. I have final say on the bills since I do the budget. He helps me around the house. We share responsibility of the kids.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 4:16 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Though I admit there had been many arguments over house work sharing. It took years for me to get him to see how much I do and get him moving.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 4:17 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • LOL, no, that's not how I think! Though, I have seen advice like that on here before. Sometimes I feel guilty, because I don't 'work'. My hubby doesn't feel that way. Don't get me wrong, he'd like for me to work, but he'd rather me get my degree, and make more money. So that's where we are, me going to school. Though, that's rough. But, we are married, and what's his is mine. If I was working, and he stayed home and took care of the kids, what was mine would be his.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 4:17 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • What? lol..no way. My dh pays the majority of our bills...well he makes the money to do so..I'm the one actually writing out the checks and handling the money. We work together on things...with the house, with the kids. If I need his help, I ask and he'll help me and vice versa. I'm not a puppet, never acted like one and never will..I don't care how much money he makes. And I don't treat him like a puppet either....well..unless were getting kinky, LOL. :)
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:18 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • if she doesn't pay the bills she can't say anything, is that really how you guys think?
    NO we are equal in this relationship and we should both equally decide things. It's OUR money no matter who makes the cash.

    If a man pays for something we have to be puppets and just fall at his feet we don't have a voice?

    In his wildest dreams.

    He's allowed to be a lazy bum and accumulate dust in the couch and not help with kids or anything just because he brings home money?
    No his the father of those kids to and he should be helping with them regardless that he makes the money. It's his household to and he needs to help with things.

    Now being a SAHM (I'm one) we should do our part and try to get the house clean but we all know how that is with kids. Our job is to take care of the kids and the home. BUT the man needs to help when we need it and should help with the kids to like I said they are his kids as well.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:19 PM on Aug. 10, 2010