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Is there actually a healthy balance of 'alone time' and 'couple time' when you have a child?

I have a 3 month old and Im finding between my husbands job, my part time job and time with our son we never spend time together. can there be a healthy balance?

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DuckaDucka

Asked by DuckaDucka at 4:38 PM on Aug. 10, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Yes, you just have to make time. We have a date night when Hubby's home, every 4-6 weeks, and then family time too. We also just hang out at home and watch movies or play games together.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 4:42 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • yeah you just have to find something that works for you guys
    britme1027

    Answer by britme1027 at 4:44 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Girl yes there is. Thats a issue in my relationship as well. my hubby is military we have a 2yr old and im 8 months pregnant. we have been on one date and our honeymoon that alone lol. u should at least try to have a date once a month. that should be a good balance and as the baby gets older u can increase the amount of date nights that u have. i sooo miss having dates. just find someone that u realllly trust with ur baby and it should all work. out good luck xoxo jazz
    newmommyjazz

    Answer by newmommyjazz at 4:44 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Why dont you just enjoy your baby? 16 years from now the table will turn and he wont want to hang with you anymore. so enjoy your baby and be the best Mommy ever it is more important then anything else you'll do in life
    one more thought when you are 80 and sick and he is married with a wife or vice versa do you want your child to visit you and care for you or not be able to b/c he need to spend time with his spouse?
    MELRN

    Answer by MELRN at 4:46 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • I have a 2 month old and a 3.5 year old. They go to bed by 9, and we have that time each night until we go to bed at about 11:00. Sometimes we spend it together, sometimes we do our own thing. On the weekends we take turns getting some alone time, for one of us will do the shopping, or something like that.

    KairisMama

    Answer by KairisMama at 4:56 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • There is, you just may have to adjust your idea of what "alone" time is. It can simply be hanging out on the couch with your hubby watching a movie after baby goes to bed. Yes, date night is great too but it's not always possible. It will be easier as your baby gets older to find moments to reconnect with your hubby, as baby sleeps better at night you can get a sitter and go out for dinner, you can have some "afternoon delight" on a weekend while baby naps.

    I personally feel that devoting time to my marriage, even though it's not time spent with the kids and may exclude the kids, is important because it's showing our kids what a healthy relationship looks like and shows them what I hope they will look for in their future relationships - a mutal love and respect for each other, and that good relationships are made through hard work from both persons in it.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 4:56 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • To newmomjazz. I am a military wife as well and we had been trying to do date night once a month, but the money wasn't there for a while to do it. I am hoping that now that I have a part time job that will be remedied and that might make the situation better.

    To MELRN I find your response rude, presumptuous and not productive in the least. For your information I spend all day of every week day with my son and love being with him and spending time with him and plan to spend as much time with him as I humanly can. Just because I happen to enjoy my husbands company as well and would occasionally like to go out to a movie (something of which my son is too young to do) does not make me a bad person or selfish. Did I anywhere in this question say anything about not enjoying spending time with my son or wanting spouse time to replace family time? How about getting off your high horse and looking at the facts before judging.
    DuckaDucka

    Comment by DuckaDucka (original poster) at 5:01 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • you have to make it a priority. we go out once a month but my mom takes the kids tochurch n we spend sunday morning together. imo, the kids are going to move out, and if you dont keep up your relationship now, how is it going to be when it is just the two of you? (this is my reasoning) you have to teach you kids how important it is to have a strong bond with your partner. they learn what they live. see if your husband can call you while at work just to have a connection. or send little txt messages if you can. my husband works from 2pm-10 while he is having his down time we watch tvv, talk cuddle.
    bzyblondmomof5

    Answer by bzyblondmomof5 at 5:09 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • My son is 7 months and we have gone out to dinner twice. I am having a hard time between breastfeeding because he wont take a bottle or sippy at all, work, and school. I am lucky that I am able to take my son to work with me so I can feed him there, but yes, train your child EARLY to take a bottle! lol You need the alone time with your husband and with yourself!
    sweetbeb05

    Answer by sweetbeb05 at 5:23 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • i have a smilar problem. my husband isn't military, but he does work 5 daysa week from 9 to 5 and 4 days a week from 9 pm to 3 am. plus we have 5 kids and the yougest is 2 months. we try to spend time together after they are all in bed. my mom also babysits once in a while so we can spend time together, just us, during the day sometimes. it is hard but if you try, you can do it.
    happy-go-lucky

    Answer by happy-go-lucky at 6:24 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

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