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parents who have had seniors need help!

My daughter is entering her senior year she is terrified to enter adult life when she graduates. She is stressed because she dosent know what she wants to do she says she is torn she wants to stay close to home and part of her wants to go away for school.Im worried because I have seen other kids this age do stupid things to avoid making progress in their lives. How do I help this is my first child having to go through this. Luckily she hasnt ever given me a problem and has been a blessing to raise.

 
okmommy08

Asked by okmommy08 at 9:18 PM on Aug. 10, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 19 (7,080 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • the best thin you can do is just be there for her on whatever decision she makes if to stay close or to go far. help her look at colleges and maybe take care to see them in person you cana sk for tours on how thye live on their programs and everythign so that she can decide weather she wants to go live in a dorm or just stay close to home where she can be at home. make sure you let her knwo that whatever decidion she makes you will be right behind her for whatever she needs. maybe you can help her be a little more independent if she doesnt have a job let her get one so that she knows how that will be so she can explore new things and feel a little better about growing up. dont worry as the year goes on she will start learning more about the college life and will figure out whats best for her good luck and congratulations on your daughter
    Alejandra10

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 8:00 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • My kids aren't in hs yet. But... Has she had her 1st job? Did she like it? Help her brainstorm some jobs that would be fun maybe on weekends. Maybe get her to take a spiritual gifts assessment (to find out what her gifts and talents are) to help get the ball rolling in which direction to take...

    She is so young, still- maybe a few years at home in community college would be in order, first.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 9:22 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • When I was a Senior, I didn't really know what I wanted to be either. I didn't want to be super far from home, but I didn't want to be close either. I did a year 2.5 hours away, ended up at home and going to Community College, and then ended up at UConn, where I should have gone from the beginning. If you can afford for her to live on campus, have her stay close, but get campus housing. That way she's close, but on her own. Have her try some different classes that interest her. If she ends up liking one more than the others, then sign up for a Major. Good Luck!
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 9:27 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • How about a local school or JC for next year? Or a college like 1 hour from where you live? Is she independent and able to navigate through her daily life without much parental input? If not, she may not be ready to leave the nest. My kids (23 and 19) have had many friends who ended up back home after freshman year, d/t the lack of readiness skills needed to live away from mom and dad. My kids were/are both very independent souls (but 1 did give me issues in HS), yet both did fine living away from home. In addition,neither of of ours lived on campus. My oldest lived alone in an apartment, worked and attended University and Grad schools about 300 miles away from home. My youngest lived 2000 miles away from home in his first year of University. Luckily, we have been transferred back to the west coast and are now only 350 miles away!

    Sisteract

    Answer by Sisteract at 9:29 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • There are some children who just can't leave home. My oldest daughter was that way. She went to a womens college 25 miles from home. As she didn't drive her father drove her to & from school every day. When she graduated she got her first car & from then on there was no stopping her. My DGD couldn't wait to get away from home. She went half way across the state & stayed there for the 4 yrs. only coming home on holidays & summer vacation. She now lives even further away in the state of Pa.Where she works & attends the U of Pa. Her parents only see her at Christmas. She leads an exciting life. Oh to be young again!!
    zoolady12

    Answer by zoolady12 at 9:59 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • She's still got time to decide. Some people go to college and change their major after the first year. But if she's not ready for that, she could go to community college for a year after HS.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:57 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I don't think you have to worry about her doing anything stupid. She sounds level headed enough to know that she's having those issues, plus she's talking to you about it. My children are in there 30's now but I still remember those years as emotional (for me too) with a lot of change. You both will work through it...good luck.
    lizard111

    Answer by lizard111 at 1:58 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • It is rare these days to find a teen who is on the verge of graduating and knows what they want to do with their life, going to college will bring in options, being away from home will teach her more than academics, so encourage her to do so, far enough but close enough to be able to come home in a car drive.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:19 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Help her figure out what her passions are and if she can build a career around one. There is nothing better than doing what you love for your job. There are online career counseling inventories you can take to help you define where your strengths and weaknesses are. (don't pay for this) Her high school guidance department should have some also. Stay close to her and talk about things often. Good luck!
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 3:43 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • more.......you can probably get some career counseling resources at the library and a good bookstore
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 3:45 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

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