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14 Bumps

What to do when love isn't enough anymore.....

I'm so in love with my husband, but it just seems not to be enough anymore for either of us. We have fights and conversations every night on how we can fix our realtionship...I'll do my part & he won't, then I give up then he does his. Its like we just can't get it together and I'm so tired..... I don't want to divorce him I love him til death, but it might come to that lol. I just don't know what to do anymore!

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rebel07

Asked by rebel07 at 10:27 PM on Aug. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,195 Credits)
Answers (26)
  • Counseling? Have you tired date nights? Take a day together just the two of you where you can really sit down and talk one on one with no distractions. GL
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:28 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Marriage counseling, thats what its there for....
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 10:29 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • You get couples counseling. And you read books like The Five Love Languages.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 10:29 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Marriage is tough at times. You have to constantly work at it. You are always going to have up and downs whether with him or the next one. I know one thing prayer works.
    JoyandLove

    Answer by JoyandLove at 10:30 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • If it's going to work, you are both going to have to make a serious commitment to do your parts ALL of the time. Perhaps try counseling or one of those relationship workshops for couples or something to get some new ideas and to renew things. Love is always important but if both of you can't make the commitment to do the work you need to do to maintain the relationship, it will never turn out the way you want.
    emilex

    Answer by emilex at 10:32 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • I would suggest reading and doing The Love Dare, reading The Five Love Languages and seeing a counselor. If you love him then there is always something to fight for. Good Luck.
    hsmominky

    Answer by hsmominky at 10:32 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Sit down and renegotiate the marriage, what it means and the goals. Then together decide where you want to go from there.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:32 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Okay, you Dr.Phil haters- I know UGG- BUT I read his book about marriage - forgot what its called, and it helped me soo much. My husband and I have gone threw so much and reading these type of books helps with handeling fights and how to say what you mean without sounding judgmental. Before you give up call mabey a pastor that can give free counceling. There are many that will if oyu tell them whats going on. Good luck
    lovmyhubby

    Answer by lovmyhubby at 10:33 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Counseling. Or talk about this with your religious adviser.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:35 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • Sounds like my husband and I about 20 years ago.. lol

    Here's what we learned, and how we changed. We learned that: most of the fights we were having, were usually never about the thing we were fighting about, there was always some underlying reason. Those underlying reasons usually turned out to be hurt feelings, &/or resentments that had been building up (usually for quite some time) about some other issue completely. Once we learned to stop letting things build up. And to actually actively communicated everything and aything,. We started talking when we needed to talk. Instead of things building up so much, that we bickered all the time.

    The other thing we learned.

    We were keeping score, even when trying to "fix things" we still kept score. If one didn't do this, then neither would the other. If one didn't give then neither would the other. So we never got anywhere. We were pushing against one another.

    Cont.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 10:35 PM on Aug. 10, 2010

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