Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

What should I do? adult content

Ok so I started going out with my first bf I ever had. About 4 months ago we split up, but he is still living with me an we act as though we are still going out. Well he told me he just wants some space. He has been spending ALOT of time with his best friends who are a couple. But see their friend who is a female he says he is mainly hanging out with to get to know her better because he want's a friend that he hasn't done anything with. Well he went to the coast with the three of them, before his friends picked him up he was all lovey dovy then they showed up an didn't show me attention until they left the room. When texting him while he has been gone he pretty much ignores me and wont say he loves me, even though he always says it to me.... What would you do? I love him with everything inside me. I really don't know what to do... Or even what to say to him at this point.. What would you do?

Answer Question
 
Younganproud

Asked by Younganproud at 1:21 AM on Aug. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I'd leave that guy alone and move on.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 1:26 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • This is confusing... this is your first BF and you're living with him? I assume you have a child with him?? You're split up or you're together? It sounds like a bad situation. You need to be together or not together. It doesn't sound like he values you, and if I were in your place, I'd get away fast. I know how it hurts when you feel like you love someone, but trust me, you're better off!!! If it hurts now, it's only gonna get worse.
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 1:27 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • come on you already know whats going on.. he is USING you for sex, food, and a place to lay his head. i can bet money he is with that girl who is supposedly just a friend too.. is he the father of your child/ren? if not then his butt really needs to get kicked out. dont be any mans fool honey
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 1:27 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I would demand we sit down and talk, get everything out in the open and figure it out from there. Don't hang your hopes and dreams on someone who does not feel the same about you as you do about them. I had to live with one of my exes for a couple months after we broke up, because we had a lease. I still had my hopes that it would work out but we were in different places in our lives and wanted different things. I was adament about NEVER having children and NEVER wanting to marry and he was adament about wanting both very much. It was obvious it was never going to work at that point.
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 1:30 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • If you are split up then you should be split up in every sense of the word. Tell him if he wants to be with you he better act likeit or get out.
    Baladi

    Answer by Baladi at 1:31 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I mean he was my first love. We split up when I was 15 then 8 years latter we got back together. No he isn't the father of my 2 dds. But see though I really do love him an yeah. I am just confused on what to do... I mean I know that I have some mental probs... I have been threw alot and he has always been their for me threw all of the major problems in life with my ex's. He helps me take care of my kids an loves them like his own. Everything is great except this little detail in our relationship. He knows me better then anyone else as well an is the only guy that I have ever "Loved" that doesn't abuse me in any way... But I mean really though I don't know what to do.. Could it just because of all the trust issues I have to were I just think he is doing things behind my back?
    Younganproud

    Comment by Younganproud (original poster) at 1:32 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Why are you remaining some dude's back up girl? Is that buy choice. Or because you do not want to admit to yourself that is what's going on. Because that's what is happening.. he lives with you, he diddles you, he spends time with you when there's nothing else going on.. he's lovey dovey when he doesn't have anyone else to be lovey dovey with.. and when a better option (in his mind) comes along he takes it and walks out and leaves you hanging in the breeze.

    Me personally.. This is not a person nor a relationship that I would waste my time, energy much less my emotions on. I would end it for good. Period. We are not a couple, no lovey dovey. no nothing. And I would either be moving out ASAP or he would be moving ASAP.. I would not do that to myself. I would not wrap my emotions up in someone like that, he wouldn't be worthy of my emotions. My emotions, my love is precious. It is not to be wasted during a lifetime.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:33 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Ask him upfront if he wants to be with you. And if he's cheating. There's no way of knowing for sure, and he could still lie to you about either or both, but atleast you'll have asked! If he says he does still want to be with you and seems sincere, set up boundries and guidelines as to what you'd like from the relationship, and be sure and listen to his needs as well (but not to the point of sacrificing your happiness!)

    If he says no he doesn't want to be with you, or he says no he's not cheating/with anyone else but you don't believe him, then I'd say move on. If you don't trust him and aren't TRULY happy (like you spend more time sad and worried about the relationship than enjoying it and being happy) then it's time for you to move on. Yes it will be painful at first but it's something you have to do FOR YOU. Sometimes you have to find out who you are before you can find out who you're meant to be with! Good luck!
    SweetiePeasMama

    Answer by SweetiePeasMama at 1:34 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • leave him
    A11

    Answer by A11 at 1:38 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • The reason we broke it off a couple of months ago is because I have communication problems... I don't know how to properly talk about how I feel. Talking to me is very hard to do with anyone as far as how I feel because of all the abuse my ex's did to me when I was a teenager an for some dumb reason I let them to it to me. But needless to say it was most of my fault why it ended. Every time I try to talk to him I end up freaking out for some reason and it just ends up getting into an ugly arugment about how I am acting. Witch latter I think about it an kno that I was freaking out for no reason.
    Younganproud

    Comment by Younganproud (original poster) at 1:39 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN