Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how many times should your forgive your husband?

My husband has cheated on me more than once and I have forgiven him but now I have found out more things. He has been living a double life and i am filing for child support and I want a divorce and he wanted it to. But now he wants to change his mind and try and get help for himself and try to make it work. he told me that he was not in love with me any more and was in love with some one else. Now that i have left him and have taken our kids with me he wants nothing to do with the other women and he starting to tell me that he still loves me.What should I do?

Answer Question
 
mrs.stephanie

Asked by mrs.stephanie at 1:22 PM on Oct. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (69)
  • throw his lying cheating ass out of your house, life and mind. He prolly just now realized that he lost EVERYTHING. Well, do not bother with his ass anymore. Serious! He will break your heart over and over again. Dont let him fool you.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 1:25 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I think you have forgiven him enough...He took you for granted all this time and obviously hurt you. What he said to you had to hurt you...I think he deserves it. I think you need to go out and start dating some nice men to take your mind off of him, I think that will really help. Maybe you will find someone who is good for you.
    TiffanyLove18

    Answer by TiffanyLove18 at 1:28 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Keep him out of your life!! I am ure that just like the OP said, he has now realized that he has lost everything. If you take him back the same exact thing will happen again!! You're better off without him. He sounds like a total loser to me.
    Dark_Princess_2

    Answer by Dark_Princess_2 at 1:28 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Don't fall for it! I know how that one goes!! Don't...Just give it up...He's a loser and he got himself in this mess and hes should suffer the consequence..

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • There's that saying: Forgive him once shame on him, forgive him twice shame on you!

    Something like that. So just once. If he hasn't learned by now than he never will.
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 1:32 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Men dont change. Cheaters never change. tell him to stay gone. You will let him see your children but you dont need his drama. You are way better off without him. You have already done the hardest thing. and that was to walk away from him.
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 1:33 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I would keep moving forward and never look back. Speaking from experience once a cheater always a cheater and the longer you stay the more dignity you lose and the more he sees you as being weak. I strongly believe in marriage and sticking it out so if my husband cheated on me that would be it. Women today need to open up their eyes and realize that men are not that hard to figure out. Once they see they can do whatever they want and you stay thats like hitting the jackpot for them and they will continue to do it. You need to find a man who knows what he has when he has you and would NEVER cheat on you. And you need to believe that is what you deserve. And your children deserve to see a man that respects their mother. I used to be in the same situation except I wasnt married and now that I have my wonderful husband I look back and I can't believe I ever put up with all that shit
    MiiSSHiiSCAMP0S

    Answer by MiiSSHiiSCAMP0S at 1:34 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I think you should only forgive someone if they are truly sorry and not going to do it again, otherwise it's almost like giving permission as long as the transgression is followed by the magic words. I was in a relationship for years with a cheater, and I have a friend who is still with her cheater, I'm fairley confidant that a cheater doesn't change. I would recommend not going back and giving your self time to adjust and look at the situation when your not so close to it before making a decision about going back. We all deserve to by happy, we all deserve to feel loved, and even if you haven't met him yet, there is someone who will love you so much that they would never hurt you. Good luck with everything!

    Lornamay

    Answer by Lornamay at 1:35 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • If you love this man, then it is worth it. If you love this man and you feel he don't love you then it is not worth it. You can not change someone, they have to change themself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Keep moving out, keep moving forward. Do not look back - screw me once, shame on YOU, screw me twice, shame on ME. You are too good for him. He doesn't deserve you. Make a new life for you and for your kids. He should not be an influence on those kids.
    momothree5

    Answer by momothree5 at 1:51 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.