Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

PLEASE help me to not be insecure!

How do you do it...I seem to be insecure about everything. I get intimidated very easily as well. Im going to start dating soon (divorced) and have to get over this but how?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Aug. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • To me therapy will not help unless u want it too its all up to u.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 10:55 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • For starters, focus on the good. Identify your good qualities and your strengths and skills. Try to view yourself the way you view your friends - really look at everything, don't just discount attributes. Make a list of those things. Remind yourself that they are there. Remind yourself often.
    caseyandkids

    Answer by caseyandkids at 10:55 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • therapy wil;l help so much. not only will it build copnfidence but it will help you get to know yourself again, as a single person. good luck. :)
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:55 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • The answer to that question would be different for every person. Basically, you need to spend some time with yourself, looking at your gifts, your talents, and your abilities. You need to learn that these things are what make you who you are as a person, and you need to learn to be happy with who she is. The second you start trying to be like anyone else or compare yourself to anyone else, you are going to start to feel insecure again. You also need to look at how you were brought up and any insecurities that carry over from that phase of your life. You need to deal with those and get past them, or they will affect any relationship that you will ever have. I would advise that you not even consider dating again until you have done the above and know that you could be happy by yourself if that is the way things turn out to be. No other person can ever give us the security or happiness that we crave. It has to come from within.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:56 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • before you can even start a relationship with someone else you got to love yourself..........
    sunflower39346

    Answer by sunflower39346 at 10:58 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • You have no idea how ironic your question is, do you?

    You have asked, in quite an insecure way, to have someone else find your security for you so you'll feel secure.

    You don't know, do you, that courageous, confident and secure people have just as many fears as anyone else, they just don't file the information under 'important.'

    Meditation can help you learn to direct your thoughts, both toward more useful thoughts and away from fearful thoughts. Presently, you focus a lot on the fears and what you think of them and what you think might happen... which is diverting and compelling, but not helpful or calming.

    Therapy *might* help. But lots of people end 8 years of therapy knowing exactly why they're afraid, but that's no more helpful than not knowing why. Why isn't the issue, it's how to think otherwise, and for that short-term cognitive-behavioral training works better.

    Hypnosis helps with real phobias, if you have those
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:03 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • start doing things that boost your moralle. Even if its 10 or 15 min on the tredmil
    SunShineMoMM

    Answer by SunShineMoMM at 1:49 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Get up each day and get dressed to shoes with makeup and fix your hair. Keep your house clean and be good to your kids. Volunteer when you can. Help others when you can. Making others feel good will make you feel good. That's how to let others see your inner beauty and outer beauty as well. You can do it!
    TessaBianca

    Answer by TessaBianca at 3:33 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN