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2 Bumps

what to do about adult sibling rivalry...ughh adult content

Ok...so my brother Jon (27) has had major problems since his 4th tour in Iraq, he was scheduled for a 4th but got dishonarbly discharged because of psych problems (thats a whole other story) anyway, he is an acoholic and in denial about it, been to jail a whole lot, not prision but jail.
My other brother Jeff (24) went out with Jon to the bar to have a beer. Jon has been drinking all day already, Jeff puts hand on Jons chest to stop his fighting with Jeffs friend, Jon grabs Jeff in head lock, and asks him if he wants "to play". Jeff of course says "Hell ya" So Jon BEATS the hell out of him, causing Jeff to bleed and breaks teeth....Jeff doesnt press charges, but is very upset the whole bar was fighting because of this, and both are in a custody issue for their child...I dont know what to say to Jon, I am sick to my stomach, he is such an ass, disruptive to family and scares the hell out of me. but hes family!!!!!!!!

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Grayshuss

Asked by Grayshuss at 10:55 AM on Aug. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (45 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • You can't do anything about it. Your brother is the one with problems, he has to be the one to seek help. Just be supportive the best you can.
    caseyandkids

    Answer by caseyandkids at 10:56 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • hes a grown man and you cant really lecture him be supportive if you can but sometimes you got to let them grow up themselves...he was in the military and they couldnt teach him discipline?then what can you say/do. good luck
    sunflower39346

    Answer by sunflower39346 at 10:57 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • War is hell. He needs counseling. Please try to help him.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 10:58 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • He could be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 10:59 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • He is sick and needs your support. Don't turn your back on him, but let him know you are there to help.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:02 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • One you can offer help, guide him to the well, he has to drink.

    Your brother should have never went to the bar with him there are other ways to spend time together like fishing, card games with out alchole, crabbing. He should have known better, but that does not make it right ever. He should have never hit him.... :(

    I have something like that going on, I thought what can I do. Honestly, just be supportive and don't get involved meaning don't provide alchole or let your brother. You both know he has mental illness and he is an alcholic, so just try not to get in that situation with him again-I mean your brother. Your right you can choose your friends but you can't your family, and Family is what it is... Good luck!!!!!
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:03 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • The best thing you can do is to be supportive. You can't make someone else get help.
    justnancyb

    Answer by justnancyb at 11:04 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • He has been to counseling, been diagnosed with PTSD, However he quits taking his depression meds, and he refuses any kind of help. Trying to be supportive, but its to the point that I am worried all of the family is going to be hurt by him, I think its ridiculous that he so out of control and doesn't see it as a problem. He has been like this for 3 years now. Jail doesn't even bug him. He got kicked out of the drug alcohol program with the sheriffs office, because he failed too many times, they put him in jail for 60 days. He is right back at it. I am worried about everyone being hurt or possibly killed by him.............I feel..just sick!
    Grayshuss

    Comment by Grayshuss (original poster) at 11:05 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I do not at all provide jon with alcohol, nor do I have it anywhere around with him. Jeff normally doesn't either, not sure why that happened, perhaps he thought Jon is going to drink no matter what anyone does...IDK

    I guess I am just scared, I want to help him, but he needs to help himself. I can only go beside him, he has to take the path. I cant force him, no one can.

    I actually had a relationship with an alcoholic once, I ended it, but I have seen a lot.
    VERY WORRIED and Feel bad for Jeff. wondering who is next, or who is gonna die before something is done about him...i feel horrible saying that
    Grayshuss

    Comment by Grayshuss (original poster) at 11:10 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Sounds like maybe an intervention for that Alcoholic...It's also not good that you are scared of him i would stay out of it other than that... Either they will work it out or they will part ways. I wouldn't get in the middle of it... Just for the sake of you and your family. Misery loves company and he soulds like he needs some recovery and some hard core counseling.
    BobbieJo286

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 11:11 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

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