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4 Bumps

How do I cope or what do I do?

I don't even know how to ask lol! But my oldest daughter is officially a senior today in h.s. and my youngest is in 8th grade. And I'm crying as I type because I feel so alone, and abandoned not really sure how to describe it.
I lost a baby when he was three and I want another baby sooo bad that I can just salivatate (sp). I can't have anymore due to a hysterectomony(sp) and can't adopt no money.
I just feel sad that, well I just don't know, I'm sorry if none of this makes sense, it doesn't make sense to me, I just can't describe my feelings.
Please don't think I'm crazy or something. How do I go about with all these feelings.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Aug. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Hey, now it is time for you lady-Get out there and do your thing..

    Your daughters will always be there, so go for a career, hobby, baking and selling....

    Your life is not over-you have a another one to create with two beautiful young ladies, I am sure..... Go for it!!!!! Have fun!!!!! live a little!!!!!!
    Good luck!!!! There is so much to see and do, don't let it slip by... Become a nanny, baby sit.... So many kids need a great sitter..... :) and so many parents are looking, and will pay well.... So you get the best of both worlds....
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:08 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • To cope. Your best bet is looking deep within yourself and figuring out why you are feeling this way... Could it be because: you don't feel needed now, you feel like without small children you have nothing to do, you feel like without being "mom" you are nothing else, do you have a life outside of being "mom", do you feel having children completes you..etc.. Only you can figure out that part.

    Once you figure out that part. Take a good honest look at yourself and your life. Are your feelings justified? And if so, then what can you do to actively change them? If not, then why are you kicking up dust and thinking/feeling things that make you feel bad or sad?

    As a now empty nester, I will share this. It's all about perspective really. :-)

    This is either an end that makes you sad and lonely. Or a new beginning, a new stage of life for you that is full of all kinds of new adventures and opportunities. It's up to you .
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 11:09 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I would highly recommend you go talk to a therapist. Not tomorrow, not in a week, today. You have two kids. Enjoy them. Don't fret over something that will never be. Be happy with the things you do have in life.

    Every morning, write out a list of the things you are grateful for. Jobs, your kids, your husband, your friends, a roof over your head, food on your table, even just the fact that you were able to buy the other day that you really wanted/needed. Call your PCP and have them refer you over to a therapist, or look online and find one in your area. Go talk to them as soon as possible.

    Good luck mama, I hope you feel better soon.
    kathria

    Answer by kathria at 11:10 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Have you thought about becoming a foster parent?
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:15 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I'm not there yet..My own oldest is only 10.But i've thought about how I would feel at the point when my children start flying away from the nest. I know I will be sad too..and I think thats a normal feeling to have, a normal reaction. Your babies are growing up.You've built your life around loving them,taking care of them, teaching them and watching them grow. You can't change the fact that time marches on.You can only march on with it..you can choose to do it with sad tears in your eyes or you can do it with a smile on your face.
    Since youve come to terms with the fact that you cant have anymore children of your own..remember...about 10 years from now..You'll probably start getting some grandbabies! Try to find some activities or hobbies that you enjoy.Do some volunteer work.And hey..you stil have an 8th grader..so thier not all gone yet!! :) Good Luck..and cheer up! Hope things get better for you soon.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:31 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Foster Parenting, volunteer with kids, big brothers big sisters etc. So many needy people on this earth, I am sure you can put yourself to good use and perhaps heal some in the bargin. Sorry for your loss.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:31 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • It sounds like empty nest syndrome. When you devote so much of your time and your self to parenting for so many years, it creates a void as your kids grow up and out. It is normal and there is nothing wrong with you.

    Different people find different ways to cope. Some go back to school and start a new career, some take up hobbies, some continue parenting in other ways. Have you thought of fostering?
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:01 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Juat look ahead and be YOU. It is time to be something other than a MOMMY. Be yourself. Find things you want to do and don't live in the past. Look ahead. You will be fine.
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 12:19 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

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