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Going to kick my 7yo out of the house...

She has been throwing a temper tantrum for the past half hour over nothing. I have no idea what started it this time. She is crying, trying to make herself throw up, and every once in a while she comes over to her sister who is on one of our computers and tries to pull the chair out from under her. I keep putting her in time out but she is not chilling. If she screams at me or pulls that chair out one more time I will throw her outside and lock the door until she apoligizes. Any ideas?

 
ashisamom

Asked by ashisamom at 11:26 AM on Aug. 11, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 25 (23,819 Credits)
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Answers (11)
  • LMAO!!! I felt like doing that to my son this morning! haha.
    Close your eyes, breath deeply and repeat..I love my child, I love my child, I love my child.
    That sounds like one wicked temper tantrum to deal with. If you can, keep ignoring her until she calms down enough to talk to her.I think trying to talk to her at this point will only make her scream louder and piss you off even more.
    And I would ground her from the computer for the rest of the week!
    Good Luck!
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:39 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • If you do that, make sure it's in a fenced yard and where you can keep an eye on her!

    I don't really have any advice, but I can feel your frustration. ((()))
    tinamatt

    Answer by tinamatt at 11:27 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • take everything fun out of her room and send her there and close the door. tell her you will come get her when she can calm down and behave. tell her that even my 2 1/2 year old doesn't act like that, and she is acting like a baby. lol
    xtwilightx

    Answer by xtwilightx at 11:28 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Feed her. Maybe she's hungry and while I'm not for awarding bad behavior, maybe a change of scenery would do you good. Maybe she's bored. Weather permitting, I'd let her play outside. I don't agree that kicking her outside and locking her out until she apologizes is the best idea, but I do understand the frusteration. Sometimes my 5 year old throws temper tantrums over nothing and she's usually tired. I would be too if I had visitations with her father.
    leomommy1325

    Answer by leomommy1325 at 11:34 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • So, let me see if I understand this: your 7yo will be abandoned and alone unless she apologizes for being upset beyond her ability to control herself over something that doesn't matter to YOU?

    I can see that you've dismissed her concerns in your mind.

    It is clear that you have not heard her sufficiently to understand what the problem is, and that you will not listen to her to find out, as you've decided they don't matter to you.

    You find it surprising that isolating her from the person she's trying (and failing) to communicate with isn't 'working' at making her not have anything to communicate?

    Can't really say I'm with you, here...

    It has been my experience of people in general that they'd prefer to be understood without having to say anything at all, and it's only when they've tried all the other tactics on the way to a temper tantrum that they resort to shouting and screaming and crying to get their point across.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 11:37 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • ok...here is an update. I grabbed her and placed her on the porch then walked back into the house. She laid down and cried on the porch so I went right back outside and picked her up and carried her inside and sat on the couch with her. I held her there and just kept saying that it was ok and she cried for about 5 minutes. She wasn't kicking or screaming...just crying. She eventually stopped and hugged me. She doesn't want to talk about why she was upset in the first place. My children are in therapy and seeing psychiatrist and they have some issues we are working with.
    To Linda: I appreciate your comments but I disagree with you. My daughters (both of them) opinions mean a lot to me and I usually spend my whole day doing nothing but talking and playing with them. The only time I am not with them is when I am really stressed and need to look something up online or ask a question or when they are eating lunch (like right now).
    ashisamom

    Comment by ashisamom (original poster) at 11:47 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • My oldest DD gets like that once in a while. I have to get a hold of her arms and hold her still in front of my face...then say calmly "Morgan, You need to stop and talk" or "Morgan, Tell me what's wrong" sometimes it will take 5 min or so for her to calm down. She gets to a point that she can't control her self, typically it's because she's tired.

    GL and I understand wanting to lock them outside, but you need to make her talk to you. STAY CALM!!! You getting upset does neither of you any good.
    bumblebeestingu

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 11:49 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • It's frustrating to have a 7 yo that is out of control. It's easy to blame the child. Tantrums are a sign of parenting gone wrong. You can change how you parent and the tantrums will stop. It would have been easier to start when she was 2 or 3. When you use time outs you teach kids to have worse behavior, hurt others, sneak, lie, and resent the parent. It sounds like she may have had a lot of time outs and has developed these negative consequences.


    You may be saying no a lot. He is a famous article about the hazards of saying no


    http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/say-no-without-saying-no


     

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:49 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • A practical, easy to read parenting book is Love & Limits by Elizabeth Crary. She has a web site called star parenting. Here is a parenting chart you print out to start making some changes.


    http://www.starparent.com/about/print.html


    I've read now that your kids are in therapy. You need to be with them. I have a son with bipolar disorder and I never let him go to any kind of counseling alone. You need to learn proactive parenting skills so you are in control.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 11:57 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • when my kids act like that I send them to their rooms and tell them not to come out till they can tell me what is wrong. They usually just fall asleep because they are tired. my kids are 10 and 6
    blue_glass_mama

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 12:55 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

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