Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you ever feel like no matter what you do and how much you do, it's never enough/good enough?

 
Mrs.BAT

Asked by Mrs.BAT at 11:56 AM on Aug. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 38 (105,028 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Yep. I feel like that a lot. I used to feel like that a lot more when I was younger, but I kind of grew out of it. Then I got married and though it's a different feeling it's still the same thing. I feel like I can do everything around here, but because he pays the bills my tasks are merely horse play.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:10 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Nope. Not really..

    As long as I know that I'm doing my best, putting my best effort in and doing things to the best of my ability. That's all that matters to me. If it happens to not be good enough for someone else. That's on them and their issue, not mine. My own conscience means more to me than the judgements/thoughts of others.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 11:59 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I'm sure many of us would agree that at times, we aren't enough of everything to everyone. We can't be in more than one place at a time, so we let people down. There is only one of us, and we are human and make mistakes. As long as you have more good days than bad, I think you're doing good. However, if it feels like this every day, you need to talk to someone about how you are feeling and get help. Find a therapist nearby that you can go talk to and see if they can help you find ways to feel better about what you do and who you are. Good luck mama!
    kathria

    Answer by kathria at 11:59 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • It sounds like you may have pleaser tendencies or a performance based personality. It takes practice to learn to know when you've done your best, there will always be people for whom that is simply not good enough. You have to also grow into the knowledge that when that happens, it their problem and not yours. So just keep working on it.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:02 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Every day. It's always something I did or didn't do.... drives me nuts!!!
    LeanneC

    Answer by LeanneC at 12:08 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Sometimes, and I do have people pleaser tendencies and that is the most important part to figuring out how I feel. :) I put myself on Lexapro, and I have a journal, and I found a friend to discuss it with. The feelings aren't totally gone, but they are farther and fewer in between. And I can identify when 1. I have done enough or 2. I haven't done enough or 3. If people are taking advantage of me.

    Good luck
    urkiddingright

    Answer by urkiddingright at 12:10 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Yep...25+ years with my ex. One on the countless reasons he's an EX!!! LOL. I don't fel that way anymore. I am now with someone who sees value in all I do and helps me to see it too.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 12:12 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I felt like that with my first husband because no matter what I did, it was never enough, never good enough. I would spend all day cleaning the house, every little detail, and he would come in and see one thing I missed, a cobweb in the corner of the ceiling or something, and tell me what a lousy job I had done. He was also very abusive. Needless to say, I left him 25 years ago and have never regretted it.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 12:13 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Well, I personally am usually pleased with myself and what I accomplish, but everyone in my life (except my 2 year old daughter) belittle it all. Like my SIL is trying to convince me that because I'm young and have a daughter I should just enjoy life and not go back to school yet or go back to work. We can't make ends meet without me working. We hardly could when I was working, but I somehow managed it. Now that I'm out of work again (I have a new job lined up, I just can't start for about 10 more days), it seems like no matter how much I clean, no matter how often I see my mother, no matter how hard I work to get my life on track, etc., it's never good enough for anyone except me. It's like everyone thinks it's practically a criminal offense for me to be a mother, go back to college, work, and do all the other day to day tasks I do. God knows what they'll say when they find out we're getting divorced when I move out.
    Mrs.BAT

    Comment by Mrs.BAT (original poster) at 12:14 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • It always seems that you do everything wrong. I've been in that kind of relationship before. Not only with boyfriend but with mom as well. It is very frustrating and you just want to scream. Stay calm and just realize you know what you did and i'm sure you put all your effort into it. You can never please everyone. There the one with issues not you.
    dreamweaver3779

    Answer by dreamweaver3779 at 12:23 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN