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Do I let her dad take her?

My daughter is 15 months old. I have full custody of her, and her dad has visitation two days a week and every other weekend (sat thru sunday). Well this friday the daycare is closed for a staff outing and he wants to take her friday, saturday, and sunday. Friday is not his day to take her. I already took work off on Friday. Normally I wouldn't have an issue with him taking her, but he hasn't been taking her on his two days a week and on his weekends when i pick her up I have to deal with him cussing at me and just being nasty.

Do I let him take her fri-sun or just his normal sat and sunday.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Aug. 11, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (12)
  • I would say that if he is wanting to spend time with her, Let him. I'm sure there will come a time when he will not want her as much. Take a day for yourself.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:02 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Why does he get mad at you when he doesn't do what is court ordered anyway?

    I say let her go with him Friday-Sunday. This will give you time to just enjoy the weekend and do what you want to do, or need to get done. It's not worth making him further angry with you, which your daughter will pick up on. You might be split up, but you have to co-exist for your daughter's sake.
    kathria

    Answer by kathria at 12:07 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I would let him. Enjoy your Friday night :)
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:08 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • If this is an issue then I suggest the two of you get some counseling. Even if you aren't together your relationship will have a major impact on your daughter's life. I hate my exhusband and feel even stronger about his wife; however, we are very friendly towards each other, we communcate regularly, and when one parent asks for more time we almost always let them have it. Keep in mind, whatever issues the two of you have has absolutely nothing to do with his relationship with his daughter, neither does him missing some of his visits, espeically if it's for something like work, mental health, or physical health. I'd have to question why you don't have joint custody, has he been a neglectful or abusive dad? If not, I would change your custody to joint to make things easier. If not He'll get resentful if he has to ask you for everything and you might feel you have more of a right to her, which isn't the case normally.
    Cassarah

    Answer by Cassarah at 12:11 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • If it were me I would let him take her for Friday. I would also tell him that I expected to be treated with respect, and that I would not allow him to disrespect me when I picked her up. That if it happened again, I would be reporting it to the police.
    mommy11260

    Answer by mommy11260 at 12:12 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I would let him take her. Use your day off to do something for yourself - even if that means sitting home and reading a book. That said, he should never disrespect you - particularly in front of your daughter.
    EvesMom731

    Answer by EvesMom731 at 12:14 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I agree with EvesMom.  You are still your daughter's mother and her father needs to respect that.  He sounds like my ex husband.  He only takes her when it's convienent for him.  I disagree with overnights for babies.  I think she should sleep at home in her own crib, however, I would allow him visitation Friday - Sunday in the day time.  I know it puts a burden on him, but it's not like he's keeping the schedule anyway.  Why make it easier for him?  Yes, I'm a b**** to my ex husband when it comes to sticking to the schedule and I'm proud of it.  If I didn't, he'd walk all over me.

    leomommy1325

    Answer by leomommy1325 at 12:21 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I would tell him that you will consider unscheduled days when he is able to take his child when he is supposed to and not until then. If you let him take her now it will just show him that the court order means nothing and he will continue to do as he pleases.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 12:26 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I'd also like to add that we're civil to each other even if he doesn't respect me and has called me names behind my back. I call him names behind his too, but never in front of our daughter. We don't start fights with each other in front of our daughter - he hasn't started one with me in a while, but when he does, I keep my mouth shut.
    leomommy1325

    Answer by leomommy1325 at 12:28 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I'd let him take her. I bet she would enjoy some extra time with her dad, especially since he hasn't been taking all of his allowed visitation. By not allowing it, you are punishing her for her father's past bad behavior.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 12:29 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

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