Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

more babies??

My husband and I can't agree on whether or not to have one last baby before his vasectomy. How on earth do we get on the same page??? Our children are 12, 9, and 10 months. He keeps going back and forth, the only thing we do agree on is that if we had one more, it would need to be within this year, we'd be finished trying by January whether or not I sucessfully conceived, so if we're going for it, we need to start! What do I do??!?!?

Answer Question

Asked by Jennifina at 1:16 PM on Aug. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (90 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Hump Days around your fertile period! =). If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, then it's not meant to be.


    Answer by Glamourina at 1:30 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I doubt anyone can answer this question for you. You're going to have to make a pros and cons list.

    I always heard that four was better than three. And with the age difference you have going on with your three children, your 10 month old would have a sibling close in age if you did decide to try for a fourth.

    I don't know. I'd probably do it, if I could afford it and had the room. Hope you two come to a decision soon!

    Answer by Jupitery at 1:32 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Good luck!

    Answer by SunShineMoMM at 1:45 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • If you can't agree, but the idea of having another child appeals to both of you (at least some of the time), you could leave it up to chance. There never seems to be a "right time" to have a child, and of course, there are so many pros and cons, that it's a very difficult decision. Sometimes rational thinking and list making helps, sometimes it doesn't. It's hard for me to put having a baby on a rational pros/cons list. It's a very emotional thing to me. So, if you can both agree that no matter what happens, you're together as a family and if you do conceive, the baby will be loved and cared for, then I think chance is a good option.

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 3:44 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • :) You're all very kind and thoughtful! I feel the same way as all of you. . . my husband's hesitance comes from his, well, head over heels adoration of baby Noah <3 We were very young when our almost 13 yr old was born, and I don't think he appreciated what was happening in our lives. . . he's so crazy about Noah, he feels like no other baby could be as wonderful and doesn't want to even attempt it. He did throw caution to the wind this past month (the first time in 10 months he's been willing to take a chance lol) but I didn't get pregnant. . . I'm worried about harping on him, I don't want to push. . . but it would be wonderful to at least know whether we will or won't. . . Ah well, thank you for your insights!

    Comment by Jennifina (original poster) at 4:04 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • The vasectomy needs to wait.Even if it's past your deadline.You both need to be absolutely sure.No matter how long it takes.

    Answer by bvannkissy at 5:47 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.