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What type of person has to find something to gripe and scold all the time? No matter what

My husband hasbeen complaining about everything I do. I think he is work stressed. Is this normal?

 
evelyngayle

Asked by evelyngayle at 9:30 PM on Jun. 29, 2008 in Relationships

Level 6 (114 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • There are some personality disorders that cause ppl to find the negative in all others do. They set standards so high that no one can ever attain them. I recently ask my sociopath, passive aggressive guy "is there ANYTHING that I do right in your eyes?" The question shocked him. He wasn't aware he was criticizing all that I do. Talking to your h might do the same thing, make him aware of what he is doing. I added that it hurt my feelings and lowered my self esteem when he did that. He's trying so hard to stop doing it. The effort on his part is really appreciated by me. Maybe your h will do the same.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:43 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Waking up on the wrong side of the bed is he??? I guess it is normal to have stress in life ...what we do with that stress is what is important. He needs a way to vent. A hobby or interest. My hubby plays the drums and it really helps to calm him down. Find out what he likes and encourage him to do something with all of that energy. good luck
    MommasCooCoo

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 9:40 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Well, its normal in MY house too. However...guys are hard to figure out. Maybe he is complaining because he is upset about something. Guys often don't discuss whats REALLY bothering them and they express it in different ways. He could be stressed abut work, or maybe there is some relationship issues? For my husband, we found out he is clinically depressed. Its really hard to figure out though because there is never a good time to discuss things like that when your husband is always negative and crabby. It sometimes makes you so mad that you don't even WANT to help. Is there anybody else that he is close to that he might talk to? Sometimes someone else can get more answers than you. Good luck!
    michellec814

    Answer by michellec814 at 9:41 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • I'm gonna guess that if he is complaining about everything, there is something else upsetting him on a much deeper level that he cannot express, so it is manifesting itself in constant irritability. In other words, the obvious problem isn't the REAL problem. Try to dig deeper and figure out what's at the core. It needs to be brought out in the open and dealt with, for his well-being as much as yours. God bless!
    sewinggrandma

    Answer by sewinggrandma at 11:25 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • its normal here. finally one day i told him "do you spend all your time at work thinking of things to bitch about when you got home?" he he. the look on his face was priceless. looked like i'd slapped him or something. finally hours later he tells me he didn't realize he was doing that but that everything was going wrong and he was stressed and whatever.
    my advice, when he starts bitching just look him dead in the face and ask him "do you need to get laid?" works with mine.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 12:02 AM on Jun. 30, 2008

  • It becomes normal at my house every once in awhile. I listen to what is on his mind and decide wether I can help. Sometimes you have to tell that if they are unhappy they have to change it. You can't expect someone else to change YOUR world. Most of the time my hubby thinks he is failing as a man, I just try and make him see the positive changes WE are making and he eventually calms down. Don't attack, just listen.
    wilbursdaughter

    Answer by wilbursdaughter at 10:02 AM on Jun. 30, 2008

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