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2 Bumps

Discipline for an 18 month old?

I am a SAHM and my oldest child is 18 months old. She is extremely intelligent and knows when she is not supposed to be doing something. We speak to her in complete sentences and she always understands what we are trying to say. Maybe she's just a little TOO smart.

Because I am home with her the most, I am the one that disciplines her the most.. but she will not listen to me. She hits me. I have tried stern talking, time outs, even swats on the hand. I try not to do the hand swat just because I don't want to reinforce the hitting thing. But sometimes it's the only thing that gets her attention. Still...most of the time she just laughs at me and hits me again until I put her downstairs in her crib for a few minutes. Her father tells her no once, she stops and cries and doesn't do it again for a while.

What can I do?! I am at my wits end. He is not home all the time, and I want to be in control of my children.

Answer Question
 
Lissachck

Asked by Lissachck at 1:24 PM on Aug. 11, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Well,let me think. Try using a forceful voice. The fact that she laughs and does it again,tells me that she thinks u r playing. Do exactly what your hubby does and use a forceful voice. let me know how it works message me. Try taking her favorite toy away. Remember she is only 18months. very little and even though u think she understands,maybe she is just scared of your hubbys tone of voice. Little kids like that r afraid of the dads deeper voice,it's a fact.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 1:32 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Spanking is a hard thing to do but it will work. I found it worked best to tell the children once and warn them of what was coming. That's all. No counting, no threatening, no trying to convince. Then spank. It is not true that spanking causes children to hit--not when it is done properly. I spanked all three of mine, and not one of them was a hitter. I have 5 grandchildren who are spanked, and not one of them is a hitter, either. When you spank, you always reinforce it with love. I told mine that I loved them too much to allow them to be disrepectful and disobedient to me. When they were older, they would sometimes sass me. I would handle it as best I could. Then when Daddy got home, the incident was reported to him, and the offending child would then get a spanking from Dad. That did not happen very often at all. Training children is hard, but it is well worth every ounce of effort you put into it.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:33 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Now, I do use a forceful voice. I sometimes even yell, but it doesn't work. I grab her arms, put them down at her side, and tell her NO, you don't hurt mommy.
    Lissachck

    Comment by Lissachck (original poster) at 1:35 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Time out has always and still does work well for us. I'm sorry it's not working well for you. What are you using as time out? We use the pack and play and vary the amount of time she has to stay in there, depending on the crime. Something that has always worked well with us is to give our toddler a choice. "Do you want to go in time out? Stop it or you'll go into time out." Usually the treat is enough to get her to stop, but if she doesn't, we follow through and put her in time out.
    HotMama330

    Answer by HotMama330 at 1:43 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I give my daughter a warning, then a one minute time out(make sure there is nothing interesting for her around), then if she keeps on doing it she gets a swat on the but. It works, but you have to be consistant.
    Dodie702

    Answer by Dodie702 at 2:26 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • "hits me again until I put her downstairs in her crib for a few minutes"


    If that works then keep doing that. Give her no more than ONE warning, then follow through. The important thing is that you are consistent with whatever consequence you choose. Otherwise she will keep doing it just to find out what you're reaction will be. Kids need to be able to predict the consequences of their actions 100% of the time (or as close to it as you can get)

    Krysden

    Answer by Krysden at 3:45 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • hold her in your lap and restrain all limbs with yours for up to 2 minutes...this is a good tim out for this age...they HATE being restrained. Then talk to hr about why she is sitting there AFTER the 2 minutes. DON"T speak to her during the time out.
    coolchic320

    Answer by coolchic320 at 8:07 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • My DD was the same way, but the restrained time-out works for us. I started it before she was even one because I knew she wouldn't understand a "traditional" time out at that age. She was so little I only held her for 30 sec at the time. Now that she is 22 mos it's 1-2 minutes. She is also very smart, talks in sentences etc. I just hold her in my lap and hold her hands - and she hates it. But it works. She even says sorry now and gives me a kiss. I always end with teling her I love her and to go play. Now if she is misbehaving (and has "that look") I can ask her if she needs a time-out and she usually will stop. The key is if she does it again to follow through with the time-out. But I'm sure you already knew that part :) Good luck and hope this helps
    NHRachel

    Answer by NHRachel at 10:22 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • my daughter is about the same age and when I know that she knows she isn't supposed to be doing something, I say "stop that, or you will have a time out"
    If she continues, I put her on her timeout chair for 1 minute. If she gets off the chair, she goes back on and timeout starts over.
    I've found that being very consistant with your words and action they catch on very quickly :)
    The past week or so especially when I put her for timeout she just sits there with a big pout and when I start going over she signs and says 'finished' and gives me a hug.

    Good luck mama
    BambiF

    Answer by BambiF at 10:25 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

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