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question on spanking(please no bashing)

last night i spanked my son on his butt. Hes 12 mnths old just one spank for him to stop doing something. Now i feel bad because of course he cried for like 10 sec but i dont feel bad for tht i feel bad because when i wagged my finger at him saying dont do tht he flinched a little like he was scared. Am i the worse mother ever? I feel so bad tht i did tht to him

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:21 PM on Oct. 6, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (10)
  • i don;t think you are a bad mother, but in my opinion i would hate for my child to "fear" me. i was spanked as a kid, and to be honest it didn't do anything for me, it only made me very scared of my dad :0( at 12 months old your baby has no idea of what is right or wrong, just be patient :0)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Oh hun you are NOT the worst mother ever. Believe me we all have those moments when it feels like we are but you arent!!!
    As for the spanking we do spank on a occasion or when nothing else seems to get their attention.My youngest is 13mths we havent spanked him yet but I will remove him from what ever it is that he isnt suppose to do and try and distract him if he throws a fit I put him in his bed until he calms down. Good luck sweetie and keep your chin up we all have bad mommy moments.
    mom23ks

    Answer by mom23ks at 2:25 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • No, ur not a bad mom. Next time if he's not listening and getting into something, say "NO"! He will understand one word better than three. I have swatted my 13 month old on the behind and I have swatted her hand. (She's very stubborn, like me) I've told her "NO!" when I do it. Now, she understands that I don't want her touching that when I say "no". She looks at me, and shakes her head no, and most of the time walks away. Sometimes she gets into it, so I swat her hand (it doesn't even make it red) and tell her again. Yes, she cries, but that's because she's not getting what she wants, or I hurt her feelings, both she gets over quickly.
    daisies7997

    Answer by daisies7997 at 2:27 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I agree with no.1 answer - your child doesnt even know whats right and wrong yet. I do not judge you as the worse mother ever, but im glad you feel bad about what you did. Its not good to spank your child, especially at an age where they dont even know it better. Next time, just relax, if he does again what he did that made you so mad that you spanked him, then just put him in his bad at let him cry for a couple minutes until you are calm again.

    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 2:28 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Sometimes I get mad too about stuff my daughter does, but she doesnt know better most of the time. So I leave her by herself in her room for a couple minutes so i can calm down. Because I do never want to spank my child. I would cut off my own two arms by myself before i spank my child. So when she is making me mad, I leave her in her room for a few, i go to the kitchen or so and get calm.

    That works fine. and always tell yourself, its just a little child that doesnt know it any better yet.
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 2:28 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Just learn from it. You wouldnt want to do it again. None of us are perfect.
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 2:32 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Thank you ladies! I feel better and im at work now but when i get home im giving him extra hugs cuz mommy feels bad. LOL Im a single mother and sometimes this WHOLE thing gets to me. But I do see the error of my ways hes only 12 mnths after all not like hes 13 and being the neighborhood bully. LOL Thanks alot ladies
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • If you don't feel right about it, don't do it. There are other effective ways to discipline.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 2:57 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • on one hand it means he now fears you which i know is heart wrenching but in the long run it will come in handy.. establish the power now i didnt and im living it now and trying to change it. parents are the bad guy 85% of the time.
    danahake

    Answer by danahake at 3:05 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • i've tapped my daughter on the butt too and alls you did my dear was hurt his feelings i've tapped her hand when she was playing with the outlets also and yes befor any one says anything i have them covered but the next time she did it and i raised my hand a little to tap her hand she flinched its a reaction anyone would have you know your not going to hurt him and so does he like i said you only hurt his feelings
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 10:46 PM on Oct. 13, 2008

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