Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I get my 12yr old grandson to stop throwing temper tantrums?

My 12 yr old grandson throws temper tantrums. He threw one the other day because he says the game his was playing on his game system was not acting right. I have talked to him, punished him and the other day decided to sent him to his father for a few days. I am studying for my bachelors degree in psychology and I will be the first to admit that nothing has prepared me for this. Is it time to consult an expert. ( His father use to do that when he was a child, and his wife says he still does, as does his younger brother although not to that degree). I have tried to make allowances for his behavior in the past because of his circumstances, His mom is ill, she suffers from a genetic disease called fanconi syndrome and can't take care of him. His dad (my oldest son) has never had a real relationship with him and he's only been with us since Feb. of this year because he as lived away from us since he was 10 months old. Help me!!

Answer Question
 
debnich501960

Asked by debnich501960 at 2:23 PM on Aug. 11, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 12 (861 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I would get him to a shrink. That is not appropriate behavior for a 12 year old. Yes, they can get pissed off and vocal, that is normal, but temper tantrums?? Not so much
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 2:24 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • well what do you mean by temper tantrums? my 15 yr old gets mad at his game and throws the controller and punches the bed...so there are obviously degrees.
    But if you are stumped and he cant be reasoned with, then yes take him to a therapist to discuss self control. thats what its all about, self control. He obviously saw bad examples of that with the dad and brother, so who knows what he learned from it? hang in there and keep trying to get him help. the thing is, life isnt like that, kwim? throwing fits when things go wrong...not going to serve him well in the "real world". good luck.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 2:27 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I would be contacting a professional it sounds to me that he doesn't know how to control his anger. There also maybe some other things going on with this child then just the angry issues. Hay in there grandma things will work out just look into getting this child some help. Please don't blame yourself this is nothing you have done. I am and it sounds like you are doing the best that you can.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 2:30 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • His brother who is younger than him, usually just turns the game off and stomps out of the room, he's never been with his father enough to pick up habits from him, bad or good. I remember his mom telling me once that this child did this when he was younger and no one ever did any thing to stop it., she or his other grandmother. I once talked to the head of the psychology department at my college and she told me to give it time because he was going through a period of adjustment. Well he's been with me long enough now to have adjusted and I have had enough.
    debnich501960

    Comment by debnich501960 (original poster) at 2:35 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • It sounds like he needs counseling. There is a lot going on in his life.
    I would also consider that maybe he throws a temper tantrum because it works.
    He needs help in finding a way to express his frustration and lack of control in a different way.
    Good luck.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 2:37 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I would suggest counseling as well, sounds like he has a lot to deal with in his life and he could have a lot of built up anger and resentment possibly that just comes out when he gets frustrated or annoyed. My boys use to get pretty riled up about video games when they were younger, mainly they would cry and throw the controls. That's when I turn the game off and say enough, its a game not the end of your world and it takes lots of practice to beat the game. They are 12 and 15 now and we don't have this problem anymore. We have a friend that has a 12 yr old that throws riduculous fits, with video games, with sports and what I've noticed as an outsider is that his mother babies him, gives in and tells him everything is everyone elses fault, I also think he may have a form of ADHD, not saying this is at all what is effecting your grandson, however you may consider looking back at his childhood and how things were handled too
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:40 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • Also a thought knowing both children are little bit like this and possibly the father? It could be a genetic mental illness as well.
    I have bipolar and so does my brother and sister, also my oldest I placed for adoption is bipolar...(again not saying this is would be what is effecting your grandson) just a thought it could be something inherited that could also be handled with counseling.

    Hang in there, I'm sure it will get better with a little help. :)
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 12:42 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • SPANK HIM once. That will stop it!
    plclemo

    Answer by plclemo at 10:00 AM on Aug. 14, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.