Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

If you suspected your teen daughter...

was pregnant, but kept denying it, would you make her get a pregnancy test?

I ask because I was just reading an update on a 19 year old teen who gave birth in the bathroom of her parents' home and then tried to kill it (at least that's what she's been charged with). She hid the pregnancy, but her mother had her suspicions and kept asking her if she was pregnant. This is the article for more info: http://www.kpho.com/news/24004950/detail.html

I don't have a daughter, but if I did, I think that yes, if I truly suspected she was pregnant and she wouldn't tell me, I would have her take a pregnancy test, or take her to have one done. I know that it seems like a violation of her rights, but where this girl ended up is not a good place. Had she told her parents the truth, they could have gotten help for her, etc. etc. Thank goodness the baby survived.

 
thatgirl70

Asked by thatgirl70 at 3:32 PM on Aug. 11, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 27 (29,531 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • There is NO way, my daughter would be pregnant and I wouldn't know. Having raised 4 children to adults, there was never anything my kids couldn't tell me. I might not always have agreed with their decisions, but they would never fear telling me anything. If I was suspicious, I asked! They told me, and it wasn't always what I wanted to hear. Being a parent isn't an easy job.
    Rnurse

    Answer by Rnurse at 10:01 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I think I would probably schedule her for a regular physical and have the doctor do a blood test.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 3:35 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I would insist on a pregnancy test and no , it would not be a violation of her rights. Any kid who is under 18 living at home ,lives by her parents' rules. Not her own. And it could actually save both lives....kids who get pregnant need medical care!!!
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 3:36 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • That story is a bit different because the teen in question is an adult. You really can't "force" her to do anything.

    If we were talking about a 14-16 yr old then I would continue to ask everyday. I would make sure she knows that I love her, and that she is not going to get kicked out of the house, etc...... I do not think I would "force" her. I think that keeping the communication open and trusting and honest, she would confide in me on her own
    Maureen-MD

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 3:40 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • i like julie's idea. make her get a physical.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 3:37 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Well I would hope that my daughter and I would have a relationship where she would tell me. Butif I felt as if she were hiding it then we'd pay a visit to the ob/gyn and if she is we'd work on it from there and if she isn't we'd get her the proper protection she needs.
    reigndrops12689

    Answer by reigndrops12689 at 3:38 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I agree that if I asked her point blank and she denied it but I still thought she was, I'd have her take the test. However, it also depends on how much trust and good communication there is already. Right now, I have 2 teen daughters, 16 and 18, and I think I'd believe them if they told me they weren't pregnant.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 3:34 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Even if you take her to a doctor she has privacy rights and if she is pregnant the doctor doesn't have t tell you. Yes it's screwed up but if she's pregnant or not your not going to find out unless she tells you herself.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:36 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Well they ended up getting rid of the baby anyway. I as a mother cannot let my childs child go to someone else. That's just me. I would have stepped in to play mama if need be.
    reigndrops12689

    Answer by reigndrops12689 at 3:47 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Wow that is some serious communication issues there. If my daughter says she isn't pregnant I wouldn't make her take a test because she knows she can come to me with anything. I think some parents actually push their children into lying about things like sex and alcohol by being so condemning. Its important to make clear your stance on drugs, premarital sex, and alcohol but let your kids know that no matter what they do you will still love them. I screwed up a lot as a teen (nothing like that of course) and I knew my parents would punish me and be disappointed in me (which was worse) but I always fessed up because I knew that lying was just going to make things worse.
    MrsKline

    Answer by MrsKline at 4:01 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN