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is this normal? is it a phase that will pass?

Alright somebody please tell me this is just a phase that my daughter will outgrow. My 6 year old is so STUBBORN! Its like talking to a brick wall. She argues with everything. If you say something is orange she says its yellow. She wants the last say in everything. She doesn't pay attention well and is EXTREMELY hyper. She's been that way since she was 3. So I wonder if she could have adhd. She can not sit still or stay quiet. She very opionated. I love her dearly and would do anything for her but I don't know what to do about this behavior. We've tried time outs, taking away toys, a sticker reward chart. Nothing works. Does anyone else have a kid like this? If so what do I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Aug. 11, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (6)
  • i have a 5 yr old that is very argumentative. sometimes i will ask him if he would like to argue dinner, go to a friends, have a bed time snack, etc.
    he will usually regroup and move forward.

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 5:32 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Could be just that age, My son is 6 and the same way.

    Answer by PoisonousBlonde at 5:37 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I vote for normal. It could be time for a bit of reverse psychology. If she wants to argue the about the color of an orange maybe you should be the one to argue for the color yellow. Give her a taste.

    Answer by Liansmommie at 8:08 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I hate seeing children labeled as ADD or ADHD.

    Have you ever thought about not arguing back? One of my kids went through such a phase and we gave him options such as do you want the red shirt or the blue shirt. P&J or Ham? When he'd go off topic we'd simply broken record him...this is where you keep repeating the question like a broken record. I was also very opinionated when I was a child. What they found was a genius IQ. Try not turning it into a war of wills. Neither of you will win. When I said something red was actually mother would say Hmmmm very interesting but I don't think your friends will agree with you but if you want to look silly keep on arguing. She was always very calm about it. Although I'm still opinionated I've learned how not to be an ass about it. I've learned sometimes it's better to be quiet and right rather then just arguing a point you can't win.

    Answer by QuillingDiva at 2:30 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • It's very normal. My 8 year old is STILL King of the Debaters. As QuillingDiva said, pick your battles. A kid can' t argue with you unless you're arguing back. :) I always say that if I said "the sky is blue" my son would say "well actually it's cerulean with white and gray clouds." It's aggravating BUT it's so not worth engaging him. Although, truth be told, on days he's being particularly quarrelsome, I have been known to say "Whatever, Logan" as I walk away.

    Many 6 year olds have exorbitant amounts of energy and do not do the "sit still" thing well. My DD is a barrel of energy and she'll turn 6 next month. She gets better as she gets older, but she's still a very high energy, physical child. It's *NOT* ADHD. It's her personality. she's full of life and she has a lot to share. We engage her in physical activities to help burn some of it off. We (and her teacher) engage her to keep her focus. It works.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 10:28 AM on Aug. 12, 2010

  • I think it is both nature and nurture. Kids are sometimes more hyper and aggressive because they are that way from birth. Others become agressive and stubborn because they see it at home and learn from example. Resist her attempts at disgreeing and stubborness by quietly but firmly saying her approach won't work. Tune her out. Tell her to spend time in her room thinking about how she can change her behavior. But,by all means, don't yell and become forceful ...that will encourage an aggressive and noisy response from her. Don't encourage arguing.

    Answer by gertie41 at 3:50 PM on Aug. 12, 2010

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