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Is it wrong of me to feel this way towards her???

Ok I have cousin who is 2 yrs younger than me. All of our lives she has either copied me or did everything to out do me. I feel childish by feeling this way but... she isn't married and her and boyfriend are pregnant. 9wks to be exact. She Told a mutual friend of ours that she wanted to be pregnant b/c my pregnancy has made me so happy. I am happily married and we are starting our family. She is still in college and her boyfriend is a LOSER, but she thought this would make her happy. I feel like ONCE AGAIN SHE HAS STOLEN MY THUNDER!! Im not jealous matter of fact kinda happy for her, but IM MAD that she didn't wait til she was married and it was "her" time. Any suggestions... i don't want to cause problems so i haven't talked to her today. By the way I am from a very religious family and she was hiding it... I found out and told her mom b/c she is the type to have an abortion.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Oct. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • No feelings are wrong! But it's time to let it go.... You know the type of person she is so just accept it, because you CAN'T change her.

    Answer by SAHMinIL at 3:11 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I dont think it is selfish or childish how you feel. You cannot help how you feel. It is how you react to your feelings that make you grown up or childish. And you not talking to her is the best decition you could have made at this point in time. You're being grown up about how you are reacting to your feelings.

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 3:13 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I have a friend who has done the same exact thing and her life is miserable....the best thing that you can do for her is to be there for her during this time and not hold anything against her. It also sounds as if she admires you and looks up to you...therefore, when she needs you (because she surely will) just be there and keep a positive attitiude to her...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:15 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I felt the same way toward my ex-SIL. I think you're justified in feeling the way you do, but that's unfortunately not going to change the fact that she's pregnant. If you don't want to be around her, don't. But she may need you...

    Answer by KLBrown at 3:15 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • my cousin is the same way...i realyl think riht now she is trying to get pregnant just cause i just had a baby and she is so weridly obsessed with my daughter when i told her i was preg she looked at me and said "IM the godmother"...yeah she decided for me my whole pregnancy was a big mess bc of her...honestly try and be happy for her and just hope this is where it stops

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • I really think that you should just feel sorry for her and for her baby, too. She has to be trying to fill some kind of terrible void in her life if she has to be always trying to do outrageous things just to get attention. She really needs some serious help, but I doubt that you are the one to give it to her since you seem to be the object of her competitions.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:02 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • NannyB's advice is good. Your cousin really sounds like she's a mess. Are you sure she was planning on having an abortion? Was her mother shocked when you told her?

    Answer by krnrobey at 4:25 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • if she looks up to you so much it seems to me that you need to talk to her and set some things straight, like the fact that you got married first to have your baby and that she should consider adoption for this baby and then wait to marry and have another baby when the time is right. since your religious i'm sure that is better then abortion. tell her that you are a level headed person that has values and goals. try to tell her that you feel she has these qualities too. just play up to her and lie if you have to to get her to change the course of her life. seeing that she values you i think she would buy into that and really change. it's not like you by getting pregnant when she is not married. so let go of the feelings that you feel no matter how valid they are.

    Answer by melody77 at 4:44 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

  • Immatation is the highest source of flattery!

    Answer by salexander at 4:56 PM on Oct. 6, 2008

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