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2 Bumps

What would you do??

My big brother want to come and stay with me and my family. He says he needs a new start!! I havent really seen him since i was in middle school but we do talk from time to time. He does have a history of drugs but i hear hes clean now and he has a felony. He asked our mom first but she directed him in my direction. i guess it would be nice to have someone around since DH is gonna be out to sea for the next couple years...what do yall think???

 
mUstBdeStiny08

Asked by mUstBdeStiny08 at 8:45 PM on Aug. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,208 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Lay down the law before he moves in. Make him sign a contract. Just make sure you have established clear cut rules and what will happen if they are broken. This could be the best thing for him right now, but I can understand your hesitation. Above all remember he's family and as long as he's not crossed you, give him a chance.
    michelle121003

    Answer by michelle121003 at 10:44 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I would ask your dh about how he feels about this. If your dh says no, then tell your brother what you have agreed to with your dh. I would be careful about the past drug use and not seeing him in so long. He may have completely turned his life around, but old habits die hard and if he is looking for a 'fresh start' then he is running from something. Be careful.

    Joeygoat

    Answer by Joeygoat at 8:52 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • If you do remember he may relapse make sure you put down strict boundaries and don't waver. In most cases popl wit past and current drug problems have away of using the situation. If you are te type of person recomend na and make sure he ge. Unfortunately drug problems don't go away they just go into remission and can return. Make sure you protect yourself. I also agree ask your dh his feelings on it.
    dynameteduck

    Answer by dynameteduck at 9:02 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • History of drugs and a felony...
    I know he's your brother but it seems like the situation could go south very quickly. I would be wary of letting anybody, especially with those issues, come live with you.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 9:20 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Well if your husband is okay then it should be fine.Goo
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 10:02 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • Good luck
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 10:04 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • have you talked to your mother about why she is not getting involved? be very very careful... many drug addicts relapse, particularly when they have a supportive environment - they get comfortable. the person who suggested a contract - this is a great idea. what you need to do is draw up a lease type agreement for your protection as well as his. and if he does even one thing that is questionable - one "slip up", one time of stealing money from you, one disrespectful outburst, get him out. i am really hoping he is clean and that he can use the opportunity to help himself, but i have been the used person and seen enough of others getting burned to know that the odds are stacked against him and you. make sure he is in a program - make that part of the agreement, that will give him a better chance of staying clean and making progress. good luck!
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:26 PM on Aug. 11, 2010

  • I asked DH and he said it was good but he was just thinking about me having company while hes away. Then he said its up to me
    mUstBdeStiny08

    Comment by mUstBdeStiny08 (original poster) at 9:13 PM on Aug. 11, 2010